she's either too busy or not interested..oh well!

[sfboi415]

Hi,

 

I was in a class, and originally I was intent on just passing it and not make any new friends. However, after a study group with 3 of the classmates I started to develop an interest in one of the girls, and I started to call her. We both worked at non-profits as well, so letting her know that established a commonality between us. Eventually I learned more of her character..basically that she likes humorous guys, into feminism, an art buff, e.t.c. But I never brought up the issue of "wanna go out for coffee? because we only attend the class one night during the week. Perhaps if we had a day class during the week it would be a different story..

Summer came, I asked her out, made hints that there was a big festival in the city, and got no response from her by phone. Last week she sent me an email that said: I'm pretty busy these days. My life is very full now and so I really can't make new friends or return your phone calls.

 

I'm not offended, but what's the best way to respond to this? Should I ask her why she's so busy, or just leave it alone? I was thinking about mentioning that maybe in the future when her schedule wasn't busy we could talk..

 

Any suggestions would be great, thanks!

[woobiegirl]

Sounds like even though you two had similar interests and got along as friends right now isn't a good time for her. At least she gave you an honest answer and didn't keep you in limbo.

 

It could be a combination of both that her life as it stands now is filled with busy stuff and she doens't have time to invest in a relationship right now. On the other hand, her e-mail could have mentioned remaining friends and that she would give you a call to get together when time frees up. Her comment

My life is very full now and so I really can't make new friends or return your phone calls.

just seemed a bit harsh...especially since it sounded like you were already friends.

 

I wouldn't ask her "why" she was too busy. I'd just thank her for her reply and let her know that when she had some free time to keep you in mind as a friend to go do something fun with. Then move on...NEXT.

 

Good luck,

Woobiegirl

[xxatti]

Her comment just seemed a bit harsh...especially since it sounded like you were already friends.

 

Exactly what I was thinking. If that's how she replied to you, all I can say is not cool.

[Michael2]

Move on. She isnt interested. More fish in the sea, I know I know, that sayings sucks, but it is the truth.

 

I will probably get flamed for this, but why waste your effort on a feminist anyway. Just kidding.

 

Move on man...