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He gets 'affectionate' when drunk


Kerrian

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...which isn't much of a problem when we're together.

 

But he's told me about times he's had a lot to drink before where he's ended up all over a girl at a party who he's had no real interest in. Granted, all of these times have been when he's been single, and he's told me that he hasn't ever done this while in a relationship - but regardless, it worries me slightly.

 

Particularly as this evening, he's going to a 21st birthday party back at home (we're currently in different parts of the country) and while I don't think he'll do anything like that, it's hard to keep the "what if" jealous thoughts away.

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I get quite affectionate when I've been drinking too, but only with and when I'm with my man. I make a point never to drink unless I'm with him. I just would rather not put myself in that state of mind unless I am with him.

 

What exactly hasn't he done while he was in a relationship...? The getting drunk part or the being attracted to someone he wouldn't normally be attracted to while being drunk?

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The being all over someone else part, not the drinking part.

I'm also being a bit hypocritical, because I get affectionate when I drink a fair amount as well, and I have enough self-control and no urge to be unfaithful. That and I agree with the above poster, I tend not to get myself to that state of mind if I'm not with my partner...

 

It sounds strange, but I don't actually expect him to do anything - I guess it's more of a 'I wish I could be there' jealousy...

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The being all over someone else part, not the drinking part.

I'm also being a bit hypocritical, because I get affectionate when I drink a fair amount as well, and I have enough self-control and no urge to be unfaithful. That and I agree with the above poster, I tend not to get myself to that state of mind if I'm not with my partner...

 

It sounds strange, but I don't actually expect him to do anything - I guess it's more of a 'I wish I could be there' jealousy...

 

I definitely understand that. I get that every time my boyfriend goes out drinking. He's just so much fun.

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It sounds to me like he's preparing you for the possibility that it might happen. Or basically setting you up for the... " It's not my fault honey, they were making me drink vodka." Deal with the "what ifs" and don't worry. Trust is something that gets stronger over time and it sounds like he's given you no reason not to trust him so far. Just don't let your guard down yet. Good luck.

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honey my man is very much like that but we've found something that works he knows he gets like that so he cuts back on how much he drinks when I'm not with him. You don't want to be controlling but tell him how you feel. Communication is a key part of any relationship. He needs to know that you're not comfortable with something or feeling insecure then you can work something out.

 

The green eyed monster gets to us all at some point it's just how you deal with it that matters.

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I know many will not agree with me, however I do think he should not be drinking that much without you around. I don't condone controlling him (which I don't think is a problem for you) but I think it would do some good to talk to him about your concerns, lightly of course - and in no way accusatory. Especially since he's going to a 21st birthday party... the party-theme (if you will) IS alcohol.

 

However, if you do tell him and he refuses to compromise getting drunk with just a couple drinks... then that will leave you feeling unheard and disrespected.

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