calling her or not?

[ltensail]

i'm in the process of wooing a girl. i occasionally calls her but everything seems so bland. most of the time, we are out of topics. and i have a problem - understanding people. can anyone teach me how to keep conversation going and understand her and of course all of the humans from just verbal conversations?

[bleeder]

An effective conversation can only take place when we listen with understanding, and speak so as the other party can fully understand and relate to.

 

Many people tend to fail in this aspect for either they do not really "listen" or their mouths would tend to flood the entire conversation. They are not really aware of the other party's state or reflexes pertaining to the topics discussed.

 

What you can do is to try listening first. By that, I mean listening with understanding to what she's really saying. Not letting the words flow pointlessly from one ear to the other. From there, you should be able to pick out things which piques her interests. Good luck!

[ltensail]

u mean i should listen and understand right? does this "understand" means to make a deduction of what she is feeling at that moment of time when she speak that sentence? and u also said that some are not really aware of the other party's state or reflexes pertaining to the topics discussed. so does that mean i have to consider what i'm going to say first, and then either say it out or not?

 

btw, i'd missed out one more question in my previous post. how can i understand one personalities from purely verbal conversation? do i keep asking questions about her e.g. what's ur hobbies, fav. stuffs and so on? huh?

[bleeder]

To listen with understanding means to clarify what you do not seem to comprehend. Many would choose to remain silent or pretend that they do know about what's being said, when in reality they don't.

 

Being aware of her reflexes means paying close attention to her body language and facial expressions. Normally, those are dead giveaways for anyone not being interested in a topic.

 

Hope that I have helped.

[ltensail]

er...u missed out my last question. hehe thx anyway

[bleeder]

No harm in asking about her hobbies at all. Just probe a little and let her do most of the talking. Women who are comfortable with you tend to talk more.

 

Good luck.