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will be asking my first girl out (online dating)


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Hello folks,

So, I am very new to online dating and recently joined a website. And when I was searching for girls there, I came accross a girl that I really liked and I think I have seen her before at a place I go for volunteering.


So, my question is, if I am going to ask her out through the website, how should I proceed? Should I do some days of chat first? or Should I directly write to her asking for a coffee (and maybe mention that I have mostly seen her before at the volunteer organization sometime).


Otherwise, in general, what do girls prefer? A guy chatting online for a few days before asking out or directly asking to meet over a coffee (or something else)?


Help is much appreciated



Thanks ENA

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Well a little chatting up will help in setting up a date. Coming flat out and asking her from the get-go will put a bit of pressure on her and she would more than likely say no. Spark her interest in you by talking to her for a few days. If you come off as charming enough, she will be more welcoming of a date.

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Yes.. a little chatting might have set a date but i would prefer to be able to talk to him for a little while on the phone before setting up a date. If you both are beginning to like one another, it is a good idea to set up a real life date before the feelings gets too intensive.


Take your time to get to know each other & don't rush into a real life relationship if you are not comfortable. Sometimes, people are different real life & behind the screen.


Good luck.

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Thank you folks... By the way, this girl lives in the same city.


That's I was initially thinking of directly asking her to meet over a coffee in a public place.




Also, I don't know her personally but I am sure I have seen her ( and mostly so has she ) a couple of times at the school where I volunteer.

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you got the wrong mindset


1.) these girls get tons of messages.


2.) most don't reply.


3.) you don't know anything about these girls, so don't fall in love.


don't take it personally and message a ton of people. if they respond, great, if they don't, that's the way it is.


on one website i wasn't getting any replies. i switched to another and have been getting way more replies from much better looking/intelligent girls.


still, even then, i'm only batting about 25%, at best, in terms of replies.

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Yup... not attached.... so I guess I should write to many girls...


This is my first time and I didn't think that so many people DON'T AT ALL respond... weird


IN my opinion, online dating involves a very different set of rules. It is a place where people jumps from one person to the next in a very very fast pace. Sometimes, i call online dating = Microwave dating i.e: Fast to cook and fast to cool.


Keep writing to other ladies. I hope that you will find your dream girl soon.


Good luck.

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He he.. nice analogy..


So, this girl I sent the message to didn't respond. ANd tomorrow I will be going for my volunteering project. There is a possibility I may bump into her there. We volunteer at the same school but never work together. So, there is a possibility we may not come accross as well.

So, if I see her (we have never met/talked before), how should I behave/react?


Any suggestion?

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