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advice on a situation


jsd12

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so me and my ex girlfriend have been talking a couple times a week now and we have great conversations. the thing is last week we ended up all going out in a group with my friends and hers. Then this weekend this one guy that im not really friends with that was there starts flirting with my ex on facebook and shes an outgoing person so she was responding back. This made me so upset and i talked to my friends about it but no one was helping me. this was relle wrong of him right? he knows we recently broke up and how much i still love her so wat the hell? so last night this guy put up his profile picture with my ex in it and another kid in it too. Then my ex commented on it saying it was a great profile pic. Well i was talking to my ex last night and i asked her if she was interested in this guy. She told me that absolutely not because she said shes off limits and not looking for any guy let alone this one who she thinks is ugly and says she would never do anything with ever. Is she telling the truth im just having trouble with understanding why she would talk to him in the first place. she said i dnt need to worry and think about it. what are other people's thoughts on this situation??

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jsd - if the two of you aren't together, she is free to talk to whomever she pleases and if this guy is not even really a friend of yours he's not in the wrong for flirting with your ex IMO. why are the two of you hanging out? are you talking reconciliation here? because if you are trying to be her friend and you obviously aren't over her, this isn't gonna work out well for you.

 

all you can do is take her word for it i guess. even if she is interested in him i'm guessing she's not going to just flat out tell you that. perhaps you need to think about lowering contact with her and try to stop obsessing over what may or may not happen. hard, i know - but it is possible.

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... so last night this guy put up his profile picture with my ex in it and another kid in it too. Then my ex commented on it saying it was a great profile pic.
Hmm... Almost sounds like she wants to make you jealous? Could be wrong tho. You know her best.

 

... Is she telling the truth im just having trouble with understanding why she would talk to him in the first place.
Sorry to say it, but actions speak louder than words. There are plenty of people out there who say one thing and do another.

 

... she said i dnt need to worry and think about it.
Regardless of what she says, you're going to think about it and worry about it. That's just natural. If she cares about you she probably does not want to outright hurt you.

 

... what are other people's thoughts on this situation??
I would consider backing off and dropping off the radar for a bit? You can be tactful and diplomatic, or not. You can tell her what you're doing, or not.

 

... she said shes off limits and not looking for any guy...
Does this include you? Just be careful here. Watch your heart.

 

I hope things work out for you. Keep us posted with any updates.

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i understand what you are saying but its just she was being relle nice and promised me but i dont know this guy is like 4 years older than her anyway so shes not interested. But why the hell would this guy do this tho? my best friend is friends with him and he told him exactly what happened it just pisses me off. And my ex agreed it was completely out of line but this person wont change it.

also before this happened i asked her to hang out this weekend to catch up and she responded all happy basically saying "aw yeah! and thatd be fun and she still calls me like little names and stuff like we were still together this also confuses me. But then at the end i said am i guna talk to you soon and she said we'll figure it out ttyl..does this mean shes just acting like this because even tho she like talking to me she thinks in her head that u dont talk to ur ex that much. know wat im saying?

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My ex said the same stuff but is actually interested in a guy. She was true in saying she wont be going for him but she does have feelings for the guy.

 

Could be the same for you bud. I wouldn't worry about it too much, best thing you can now is drop of the radar a bit as person above said.

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I think it's best to back off and try to limit your exposure to this flirty behavior. I once had an ex insist the same thing about some girl who was pursuing him (she was ugly, creepy, he would never date her, etc), and then they got married. So, I have a hard time taking anyone's word in that situation, and I know now how much easier I would have had it if I hadn't stuck around believing his lie, only to have the truth smack me in the face. You say she's outgoing, so it's very possible that she's not really interested, but it's wise not to cling to tightly to that.

 

Also, calling you cute little names could just be out of habit. Habits are very tough to break.

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yea i see what you guys are saying..about the hanging out thing she said tonight "its goin to make things harder but im fine with it i just dont wana lead u on again." n i responded by saying "i know it is, im finne n i just wana do sumthing fun with you" then she said "okay same

what should i take out of all this if anything??

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I think you have gotten your answers...The problem I see here is you still have feelings for her and even though she says she maybe, sorta, does too, but wants to not lead you on, and not look for other guys (even though most of the time, people come around when you are NOT looking)...and possibly wants to be with you later or not, I think you should drop off for a little bit.

Get yourself straight...Bounce and go improve yourself and go out with some other chicks..

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