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Is this guy playing with me?


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I dated a guy for 5 months after he pursued me pretty aggressively. At first, things were great. We laughed all the time; we loved being together. He spoke often about the future--not in serious terms but about trips we should take or meeting each other's friends/family, things like that. I played it a little more cool at first, but when things began to get physical, I admit that I started to like him more and I showed it too. I don't think too much but enough that he knew I cared. He showed the same in return. Some other details: there was a significant age difference between us as I am 11 yrs older (36 to his 25). He always said the age thing didn't bother him in the slightest, especially since I look/act youthful. Not immature as I own my own business and I'm very responsible, but i have a youthful vibe. Anyway, as I said, things were great...until he went home for a month overseas. When he returned, he acted weird and distant. Kept blowing me off at the last minute when we were supposed to see one another, but always with a solid reason and he INSISTED things were fine. I started to get the dreaded uh-oh feeling, but he told me he wanted to be together and things were cool with us. And then, one night, we went out to dinner and he lays it on me halfway thru that he is worried if his Visa is not granted he won't be able to stay in the country and for that reason he thinks it is better to stop where we are before getting more involved and hurt down the road. After that, he hits me with the whole Let's Be Friends thing. I did NOT get all weepy or weird. I told him I accepted his decision (though I was upset inside) but that I did not want to be friends since it would be too hard to flip that switch. He said he understood and that if he gets his Visa we can continue to see one another, but until then, he doesn't want to invest and then get hurt. There are more details but that's the gist. All of that went down about a month ago. Now we are in this weird holding pattern until he hears in another month or two. I have been doing LC--not contacting him at all but answering on the two occasions that he has reached out to me in the last month. In the last text from him, he said that even if he gets his visa he may go home for a bit but that he hoped we can "meet up" when I am overseas for work. Okay, so here are my questions: Is this guy just messing with my head? How do I know whether or not he is sincere? The person I met before the break could not have been more sweet and caring, but this new guy is hard to trust. I am usually better at sussing out a bulls**t artist, but I am lost here. And if he is being real, I am willing to wait. What do I do? I've always kind of thought that if you want to be with someone, you make an effort despite the circumstances, but maybe in this case, he is being smart. Thoughts please! Thank you!

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