ways to ask her out again

[Parachute]

Ok so I split with my girlfriend about 6 weeks ago.

 

We've been in LC for about 3 weeks and its all been going very well. I get the feeling that she may want to try again.

 

I want to ask her out this weekend for the day so we can "test the water", but I'm not sure of the best approach to take to do this.

 

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to ask her i.e what not to say or how to put it to her in a way that she will most likely say yes? I'm not looking at anything fancy like dinner or anything I just want to spend the day together so we can have a laugh and a chat and see where we end up.

[minou]

I would love to spend some time with you. You mean so much to me. Are you open to this? If so, what would make it a great time for you? Is there something you've been longing to do, or a place you've been longing to go? ---- How about that? I think people forget how important it is to put the other person first. Be straightforward.

[Parachute]

I thought I'd just cut to the chase and say do you fancy meeting up this weekend and doing something for the day.

 

Not sure if thats a bit too direct though.

[minou]

I don't think that's too direct at all. Short and sweet and too the point. How about eliminating the for the day part though? A whole day may be a bit much to start out.

[Weaksoss]

I disagree with Minou, because it puts too much emphasis on her. She's made you an option, so don't treat her like she's a priority yet. You deserve better from yourself. I'd suggest approaching her about it as casually as possible, don't stroke her ego. If she wants to give things a go, she will take it as that, but if you are too forceful you are likely to turn her off.

 

I'd rephrase minou's request as "I'd like to spend some time with you, did you want to do something/go somewhere sometime? Suggest destination and or date here."

 

When you are out of a relationship you need to put yourself first. Don't be pushy, and don't ask too much. Asking too much comes off very passive and a little needy (and us ladies like men to be strong and assertive), and you don't want to take crumbs from this woman. You want her respect and admiration.

 

Of coarse I highly suggest you do not in any way ask her to get back together. Just roll with it for now and see how things go.

[Parachute]

I like that. I'll say something like "I'm going to be around this weekend' it'd be nice to see you. Do you want to go out somewhere for the afternoon?"

 

God I sound like a prat! What a simple thing to say, but I know its going to be so difficult to say it. And then whats she going to say??

 

I'm hoping it'll be positive she's been quite forthcoming when we've chatted which is usually by txt or i.m. Always tells me to drive safe or take care and finishes it with a kiss.

 

Hopefully I'm not mis-reading the signals! But if I am then I can handle it. Nothing ventured nothing gained in this love game!

[MakestheBest]

Great Advice @ Weaktoss.

 

Btw We american's don't know what "a prat" is lol.

 

I was in the same situation a few weeks ago. I said to my ex " How would you feel about hanging out ( after the new year) "- this was the day before new years eve.

 

He was excited but He pushed to try to find out what my agenda was and i blew his questions off and just said something nonchalant like " we used to have a good time together, right? I just want to see you-no big deal."

 

I think that was a mistake.The night we hung out we had a really good time, but at the end of the date i found out that he had been on edge the whole night and thought I was playing games-he was frustrated. It blew up in my face a bit and we are still working things out. In retrospect I wish I had said the truth " We have been arguing pretty hard lately, I just want to hang out and clear the air a little bit".

 

I would say find a casual way to ask her out without suggesting that you want to get back together, but just in case she pushes to know what you're about don't make the mistake I did and respond like "oh nothing".