Should I even talk to her?

[Stupid4Her]

okay, this girl that i use to be involved with has just recently started talking to me again after about three weeks. she broke up with me because she insisted that we couldnt make a long distance relationship work.

 

now that you have the background, here's what's going on now. now she says she wants to still be friends, but how can i? i mean i still want to talk to her, but i dont want to just become "the friend" to her and have her lose the feelings she has, or had, for me. she tells me she still loves me but doesnt think we'd work out ( we only live 30 min. away from each other). i dont know. i'm starting to think that maybe she still wants to be friends because she knows what she's doing is stupid and she wants a guilt-free conscious.

 

anyway, i told her i'd still talk to her, but everytime i try to talk to her, she can never talk. there's always some excuse and i think she just doesnt want to even talk to me. however, when we dont talk for a while she always texts me out of nowhere and wants to talk, but its always about our relationship.

 

What should i do? Should i just stop calling her and let her lead everything?

 

I JUST DON'T GET IT!!!

 

(sorry if this post is confusing and hard to follow)

 

[Hannibal]

Well if you guys were friends before then being friends after the relationship wont be to hard to do. If you weren't friends before then its probably best that you don't become friends after. It would take so long for the both of you to start to see each other in a different light. It sounds like you're not quite ready to start to talk to her again, and maybe perhaps she isn't either. Just follow the N/C rules for now until you're ready to see her again.

 

Good luck!

[SandyD]

Just curious... how long were you guys together in the first place? And was the long distance thing the only thing that happened to drive you apart? (what did you guys used to argue about?)

[bri]

Tell her how you feel, that you can't be just a friend because you have other feelings for her. Don't let her play the "friends" game with you. She doesn't want to lose your affection but she wouldn't give you anything in return - that's how it is even if she doesn't realize it herself. Move on as soon as possible and perhaps in a couple of months when you are emontionally involved with someone else you will be able to really be friends with her.

[fmfisdead]

Yeah man, I'd say no contact is going to work best here, It kind of sounds like she wanted to break up, i dont know this for sure, but to me, saying We live to far away, and i want be friends, is an easy way to let you down. But in the end it leaves you feeling confused like this. I think there are times when she DOES miss you, and texts you, but you can't always be around for her beckon call. If after no contact, she still is doing this same thing, I would say she most likely wants to be apart. Don't let her be with you, or talking like you are, just because she is lonely. Sometimes people do this. Sorry, for not everything I saw is probably true, but this is just how It might be. So don't take anything i say as fact, good luck man.