How long before I ask for a date

[LoneVirgin]

Ok, I guess I should ask that primarily women respond to this topic, because that's who would know best. First of all, I'll be in college in a couple of months, but I wanna ask this first. Where I'm living at right now, there are NO clubs or sporting events that I can go to, so the ONLY place that I can meet women at is in grocery stores. And from what I know, that ain't a good place to meet women . So what I wanna know is, how long should I talk to a woman before I ask for a date. I can't just walk up to her and say "I wanna hang out with you," can I? And the next question, when I go to college, when CAN I tell someone I want to date them? Because right now I'm desperate, and I cannot wait for 3 months after I've been a friend with a girl to ask her for the date. But hey, don't get me wrong, I DO want women just as friends, but what if (Okay, WHEN) I see a girl who's not in my class and does not know me, can I ask her for a blind date? Next, how do I SHOW confidence? I definetly don't have it, but I at least want to fake it so that women will actually LOOK at me. And lastly, but darn sure not least, WHERE can we go for a date. The only place I can think of is a high-class restaurant, but what else. Thanks for reading this, and any help would be GREATLY appreciated.

[bzborow1]

Woah!

 

I think you need to just relax first of all, you seem to needing of a gf to be honest with you. As far as meeting women outside of the bar settings, I think its actually easier! In bars you have competition! The other thing that I think is important to think about is that women all have this fantasy of meeting there prince charming just "out of the blue", like say....In a grocery store?

 

Is your problem meeting women outside of social places like bars or just in general? In bars you could say something like, "you are...(pause, stare in her eyes) beautiful...and i wanted to get to know what you are like." But you can't really do that in a place like a grocery store.

 

My question for you is, what makes you think you need a reason to go talk to a woman? Why can't you just walk up and say "hi" or "are you from around here?" and go from there? As a guy I think we tend to overanalyze ourselves to the point we get confused and don't know what to say...as if we have to say something that will completely grab her attention.

 

First thing would be to practise on other women before you go for the one you want. Try just striking up conversations with people in the grocery store lines, anybody, old ladies, wutever...point is just to get comfortable engaging strangers in dialogue.

 

As far as the meeting women, you are just MEETING them, so asking them on a date right away is just pushy! Next time you see someone you would like to meet, go and introduce yourself...talk for a minute or so, then tell her, "well....it was nice to meet you ." Turn to walk away, then turn back and say, "hey...you got email?" If she says, "no" be funny and say "what? You don't have electricity? Running water? (be funny)"

 

But if she says "yes"...pull out your pen and paper and as though she said yes to you and get her to write it down. She may throw a "i don't give out my number to just anybody" type line...just tell her, "just write it down! i'll only email you 9 times a day! (again, be funny)" That will usually get her to start writing. Once she does just get her to add her number there as well.

 

My advice would be to try something like this a couple of times and see what happens, write down your results if you want....and keep practising. Remember, if it doesn't work the 1st or 2nd time not to quit....keep practising!

 

Hope this helps.

 

Bill

[LoneVirgin]

bzborow1, you asked why I needed a reason to talk to women. The way I think is, the grocery store is a place to get groceries, not dates. I feel that if I walk up to them and start talking that it would be an invasion of privacy. Like if I say "Hi," she'll say "Hey" very lowly and then just leave. And there are no bars where I live at, so that's not an issue.

BTW, thanks for the advice!

[bzborow1]

My advice to you would be that you're making assumptions. You assume that she won't be totally flattered that you want to talk to her. In my experience you won't encounter too many women who'll completely blow you off and say something rude. But would you really want to date someone who'll be that rude to a stranger in the first place?? The reception is usually neutral to good to be honest.

 

As for the "process". When you meet them i'd stick with just getting numbers or e-mails. Then send them an e-mail a day later or something asking them to coffee...and go from there....keep it casual and relaxed.

 

The only power they have over you is the power you give them.!!

[BadCat]

bzborow1, thats great advice! I love that, " The only power they have over you is the power you give them.!!" that is so true! I never had trouble getting a date, but I always seemed to mess things up by prasing them!(...I love girls! =P~ ) anyway, that helps me be more relaxed. I'll post a new topic soon, be sure to look for me, I would appricate your help thanx.