absence makes t heart grow fonder?or out of site,out of mind

[J_82]

hi was wondering what people thought to this? some people say absense makes the heart grow fonder? but some people say out of site,out of mind. im my unfortunate experience i always seem to be on the receiving end of out of site out of mind, but what does everyone else rekon?

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

Hey J_82

 

Personally lol i think absense makes the heart want to cheat. W/o that special someone around all the time, constantly reminding you of how lucky you are, its natural for us to think about and check out other people. But yea, that's just what I think.

 

No, I've never cheated in my life.

 

Heb

[lisaria]

Hey Happy,

Like you, I seem to be on the receiving end of this little saying, but I think it's out of sight out of mind. Of course, I do have a rather jaded opinion of relationships right now. And Heb, you are right too. I think that most men cheat or want to when their SO is out of sight. Oops, sorry guys, not all of course.

L

[lisaria]

Oops, I meant "Hey J_82" but at least I got the Heb right. I need more coffee.

[Mar]

I think it depends on the situation. If you're in a loving relationship where the commitment is strong on both sides, then yes, absense makes the heart grow fonder. But if you've broken up with someone due to irreconcilable differences, then things weren't working out and most likely the one who did the breaking up just wants to move on with his or her life, so the "out of sight, out of mind" technique is the one they try to employ. But again, it depends on several factors within the relationship, so there's no absolute either way!

 

Mar

[kipster]

hi was wondering what people thought to this? some people say absense makes the heart grow fonder? but some people say out of site,out of mind. im my unfortunate experience i always seem to be on the receiving end of out of site out of mind, but what does everyone else rekon?

 

Could be also stated as absense makes the heart grow fonder vs. too much absense makes the heart go yonder. I think its a balance, and its not easy to read and is dependent on the strength of the bond that is shared. But its depends on the circumstances really.

[J_82]

but what about for those people that arent sure what they want? like for people that REALLY arent sure. and that when the persons not there their thoughts and feelings are swayed towards walkin away because theyre not there to remind u of them.

do people not feel happier with that person there present with them, than just the memory of them when theyre not there,when theyre not there u think about other things too, when theyre there u share doin other things with them. im not really sure how it can make it grow fonder if theyre not there, ull end up growin apart rather that goin thro doin the same things together? i mean to SOME extent, absense makes the heart grow fonder, but really thinkin about it, ultimately-isnt it out of site out out of mind?

[kipster]

but what about for those people that arent sure what they want? like for people that REALLY arent sure. and that when the persons not there their thoughts and feelings are swayed towards walkin away because theyre not there to remind u of them.

 

But the flip side of that is what's worse than having someone around you, that your trying to figure our if you want to be with them, constantly trying to pressure you into being with them? I mean its that will undoubtedly backfire, since you aren't respecting the persons wishes. Kind of like a parent who tell a kid to put on his/her jacket before going outside. Once the kid gets outside, with his/her buddies, what's the first thing they do? Take off the jacket irrespective of how cold it is. But if you give the person a choice, like the kid--i.e., I'd prefer for you to put on your jacket so you don't catch a cold, but its up to you--which do you believe will be more successful in getting the desired behavior?

 

im not really sure how it can make it grow fonder if theyre not there, ull end up growin apart rather that goin thro doin the same things together? i mean to SOME extent, absense makes the heart grow fonder, but really thinkin about it, ultimately-isnt it out of site out out of mind?

 

Again I think its a balance. Trying to do things with a person that may not want to do them with you, certainly doesn't draw them closer to you. I mean even people in an extremely committed and monogamous relationship need time to themselves. But I believe its just better not to push too hard, when your better half is pulling away.

[J_82]

yer i do hear what ur sayin,but im not really talkin about pushing some1 to be with you if they dont wanna be, im just talkin about when people do decide to have space and arent there in eachothers lives for a while, without that person present there i really dont see how absense can make the heart grow fonder, having weeks and weeks apart without that person there after spendin all those special times together,gettin used to not having them there-and its not gonna b literally out of site out of mind cos some1 special will always be there,but its the only way i feel that it will end up being?