I'm so scard that shes gonna turn me down

[Ripcurl513]

Ok so basically I'm so confused on what to do....heres the story! I think I have really strong feeling for my best friend. I don't think I love her, but the problem is shes a girl and so am I! I don't know if shes like that or not, shes made comments, but nothing to where I would think shes definalty bi or anything...the most recent comment was last night, we were all drinking and talking about anything...the subject came up about being bi....well actually it was about bi girls...the guys were saying how bi girls are the best, whatever! Well my best friend was like "If I found the right girl I could be bi, but I just haven't found anyone yet!" I'm thinking.."I'M RIGHT HERE"....but I didnt say anything...but I did say that I didnt want to talk about it anymore...so I think she got the vibe..I'm pretty sure she knows anyway...I mean its not like I've actually came out and told her, but things that our friends(the ones that know about me) talk to me about and like things I've said...I'm pretty sure she knows, but I don't know if I should say anything...I really like her and care for her, but I also don't want to freak her out...ya know? Anyone know any advice? Please help me.....I just can't take it anymore, I really want to be with her and I see her EVERYDAY and I go out with her EVERY NIGHT ...and I really want to just be like....look we should be together, but I'm so scard that shes gonna turn me down. I dont want to get turned down! ANYONE with any advice....please help! ](*,)

[Silversun]

If you strongly believe that you like this person and your pretty sure she doesn't have a g/f or a boyfriend, then by all means go for it. You have nothing to lose except your pride. I remember being in a similar situation even thought I got rejected in the end because she had a b/f and because it was party my fault for not finding out that she had one.

I still felt more confident after asking the girl out. Anyway what I'm trying to say is make sure she's the one for you and then just be yourself and pop the question in the most gentle way possible i.e 'Hi _____ Your looking pretty hot today, I'd really like to meet up with you, do you wanna go bowling.

 

Words to those effect should be just fine.

 

Good luck! I hope it turns out well for you!

[Ripcurl513]

Well...she doesn't have a boyfriend or a girlfriend...shes my best friend, so we hang out all the time...I'm talking every second that I'm not in school...I'm with her, we work together and after work we sneak out together...I mean she takes my car home every night because I don't have my lisense anymore for a couple of weeks, so she takes my car every night and is at my house after school....we're pretty good friends thats why I dont want to say anything....we are fixing to move out together in about 3 weeks, so thats why I just don't know if I should just say it....I might say something today after I get out of school, well if I get enough guts to do it......my main problem is that I dont know if shes bi!

I NEED A LOT OF HELP!!!!

[Sushi Overdose]

i think its easier to say that from a guy but i think i know how ripcurl is coming from, i mean bi/gay relationships is still a big issue.. people would freak or make fun if u ask the person with the same sex... thats why shes having the doubts.. but of course rejection doesnt matter even if ure a guy/girl

 

why dont u like play something off like, "hey what do u think of that girl kristin kreuk that played lana from smallville? do u think shes gonna get with clark? gosh shes so pretty.. i admire her" then comment.. "she has nice eye lashes".. (make it sound like ure not giving her a clue that ure bi) lets see what she'll say

[sweetharmony]

yeah, this is a tricky one. I mean, if she's not it can cause a strain on your friendship. you may lose her as a best friend 'cause she may get uncomfortable. Do you want to risk that? if you're sure that if she rejects you, that you can continue a normal best friendship, then go for it- or if you want to take the chance, take the chance. I would not really tell her you like her in that way. I'd just sort of spring it up as a girlie thing, like "you know I've never kissed a girl before and I've always been curious."

 

something not as threatening- telling her you have more feelings for her or want to be with her can be. the way i said may not be as threatening, because if she rejects you, then you can just kind of play it off by acting like you just wanted to experiment. Girls who are straight have experimented several times. I know lots of girls who just want to try and kiss another girl, esp. for male attention. if she is okay w/ it then, see where it goes from there. Also, I don't know how old you are, but if you were drinking together, it might be easier b/c then if she rejects you, you can just play it off. or ask her questions, like have you ever thought about kissing/ being with another girl.

 

I'm straight, but I have a friend who always drops hints that she wants to kiss me, esp. at clubs and stuff. she's also straght, but sometimes I think she's bi. I've always been curious to try it, but we never got there. But I'd be alot more weirded out if she told me that she wanted to be with me or had feelings for me. then, i'd be freaked out. i only date men, but I'm curious. but she's my best friend and I would nevver turn my back on her as a friend. but it would make me uncomfortable. I would just like to experience it.

 

Just start with the kiss and then see where it goes.

[Ripcurl513]

Thank you all so much....some things have happened over the weekend...we both got wasted friday night and we were talking, the subject came up and i think shes into it.....nothings happened yet, but shes been touching me a lot like every chance she gets so what do you think? She always wants me to sit on her lap and she like rubs my back or the back of my neck, or she plays with my hair...so?

[bwilliams]

It sounds like she feels the same way towards you that you do her. I would still go slow, but there is something here. Start slow, relax and see what happens.

[Ripcurl513]

Ok just one last thing before I make the choice to tell her.....ok me and our friend were joking around yesterday, well we do it all the time, but yesterday we were joking around about like being "lovers" I dont know....our whole group does it, but on the way home with the one I want to be with, shes like you guys gotta stop the way ya'll are talking to eachother....and I was like why.....she said because she is getting jealous, and the way she said it, she meant jealous of someone talking to me like that....so what do you think? Go for it? Or wait?

[niet]

yep go for it. what can i say..

good luck

[murrayfaces]

I know that sounds overly simplistic, to say that you should just ask her, but you really don't have that many options here. You can go on in the state you're in, being best friends, but what happens when she starts dating someone else. Are you going to be OK with this? I guess you could also just wait and hope that this works itself out, but it probably won't. You can't just wait for that moment that you both get together, because it may never happen. Even if you do have a few romantic interludes, that's going to make it worse if she decides that she doesn't like you in "that way". I'm saying all of this because I just split with my best friend, who I had slept with in the beginning of our relationship. We were inseparable for a long time, and did everything together(including sleep together). But now, I've only talked to him twice in 2 months.

Just think about how much this person means to you, and ask yourself if you are willing to sacrifice a friendship, at the expense of possibly getting with her romantically.

[Ripcurl513]

Ok well I told her how I felt and she says she feels the same way, and like it seems like she wants me to try something but I just don't know how or how to start or anything.....anyone know what I could do?