song_thrush Posted April 18, 2004 Share Posted April 18, 2004 I have developed really strong feelings for a female librarian at the uni I go to. I am a 20 year old female. I have a bf and until recently had not really thought about girls. The other week this all changed though. There was a long queue for the library desk at uni. I noticed a women behind the counter and my eyes were caught by her arms. She was wearing a sleevless top and her arm muscles were massive. My eyes were glued to them. As All I did was admire her biceps I bagan to notice her completely. She was in her thirties, with gorgeous hazel eyes, short brown hair and a beautiful smile. i couldnt help admiring her. I know its a stereo-type but because of her huge muscles, short hair and small tattoo on her shoulder I thought she may be lesbian. For some reason I imagined being with her and got mega horny right there in the queue. When my turn came I could hardly speak to her and was breathless. I also really wanted to give her arms a squeeze. I wanted to give her a warm smile but couldnt do it as i was in a mess. I couldnt stop thinking about her that night- or since- and have mastabated loads of times thinking of her. Sex with my bf is better also- as i keep dreaming of her and having massive orgasms! Since i keep making excuses to visit the library and am falling for her in a big way. I have managed to smile at her and she smiles back so gorgeously. The problem is that i am going off my bf. I want this librarian. compared to her my bf is such a wimp too. I have not really been turned on by muscles before but her biceps are so toned and bulging. I am not certain whether she is gay or not and long to know if she is and if she's single. I dont know what to do? I need to do something though as i am in a mess. I dont see myself as being gay either. I was hoping that an outsider may be able to help/advise. thanks for reading xxx Link to comment
1Adam12 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Uh i don't know how to actually respond to this and no one else has so I guess I'll try..so away I go!! I don't know think about this are you a lesbian? or bi?...how much do you love your bf?..you actually think if you approach this lady you'd get a positive response?..I think she won't take kindly to this or I could be wrong. You should seriously think about this, i'd say talk to your bf too. Try going to a different library?..Hope that helps Phil Link to comment
YaYa14 Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 I do not think you are gay well a lesbian....I personally think you are BI and you just found a female you are attracted to its normal. Link to comment
thePuma Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 .. or you may be experiencing a temporary crave for some lust. Are you sure that what you feel is physical attraction and not some sort of envy... or maybe greed? Either this is just temporary or you're actually a repressed bi, I wouldn't bet that this librarian is gay. She's probably just a healthy rebel. Good luck Link to comment
song_thrush Posted April 20, 2004 Author Share Posted April 20, 2004 Thanx for the replies. It helps to have objective opinions from people who dont know me. I agree that I am in no position to be labelled right now and cannot be termed lesbian. I have seen the librarian a few times sinse my post. Twice earlier today in fact. I am like a love struck kid around her. I was really happy that she said "hi again" to me. She was just being friendly but she remembered me which is something! I dont want to use another library both out of inconvenience and my enjoyment of seeing her. Guess my bf would go mad if her knew where all my desires were! Link to comment
lingling Posted April 20, 2004 Share Posted April 20, 2004 Hi, Love, lust, all of this stuff...we're made to think from the time we leave the womb that it's all "black and white", all "cut and dried", that we are only supposed to love a certain gender...for some this is true, but for some it is not. I think a lot of it depends on the person...and the people they encounter. The feelings you have, no matter WHAT your sexual orientation develops to be, are completely normal. That's the thing most people don't realize...sometimes you just find someone that turns you on, no matter what gender they are. Sometimes there's just a "connection" for some reason...who knows? Who can explain it? I can't, no one can...we've been trying for centuries without any success. Just don't "overthink" this or worry about it so much right now...enjoy your time with your boyfriend, and if it involves a little fantasy, that's okay...I mean jeez, how many people in the world fantasize at times while they are with their partner? LOL...we couldn't count if we wanted to...it would be like trying to count the stars in the sky. Just give yourself permission to feel what you feel, and relax... Link to comment
driftin_condor Posted April 26, 2004 Share Posted April 26, 2004 I cannot help feeling that this crush is consuming you. You seem to be putting much energy into fantasys about this librarian. You say that you have a bf and have not felt attracted to a woman before. Gay, bi or straight is just labels however and as the posts have generally agreed previously, sometimes we wre attracted to people for the staragest of reasones regardless of who they are. It seems that you are dying to get to know her. I cannot see anything wrong with that. It will surely put things into perspective for you. Go on, speak to her and ask her for lunch or something when the time is right. You have nothing to lose and much to gain. Good luck Link to comment
iliedinapoem Posted April 28, 2004 Share Posted April 28, 2004 i think you should get to know her. just because you're attracted to her doesn't necessarily mean you're gay or anything. sometimes people just are attracted to other people of the same sex. i think that right now you're sort of elevating her. get to know her and see if you're still attracted. you can talk to her without beling like, "hey, let me touch your muscles." maybe when you talk to her you'll fin that she's not your type at all. or maybe you'll find that she is . anyway. maybe you'll make a friend out of it. Link to comment
song_thrush Posted April 28, 2004 Author Share Posted April 28, 2004 Hi, I keep seeing her. I still find her beautiful. Although still nervous when I see her at least I can keep my composure better than before. We have quick- in passing- conversations every time. I saw her out on the campus earlier today and she said 'hiya' and smiled as she passed me in the opposite direction on her bicycle. I have not told anyone else at uni about my feelings for her but they seem to find it strange that I spend so much time in the library these days! Guess it will do my grades good in a strange sort of way- notwithstanding my constant fantasizing about her!!! I agree that getting to know her would be a good thing. All I have to loose is a confusing dream. I could gain a friend, dispel a 'crush' or ????? who knows? Either way, its no bad thing Link to comment
dcal67 Posted May 10, 2004 Share Posted May 10, 2004 sounds totally sexy. Ask her for her phone number and start talking on the phone. I bet the rest takes about two days. Have fun! Link to comment
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