He keeps repeating the same stupid mistakes

[Princess777]

Greetings all,

I wonder if anyone else has this problem. My husband keeps repeating the same mistakes - how do I handle him? Please help.

[woobiegirl]

Hi Princess,

 

My, you do have quite a challenge on your hands, don't you? Since it sounds like you've pretty much exhausted your good ideas and therapy in in session, I would focus on taking over all responsibility. It sounds like you've pretty much done that already. You can't change him unless he wan'ts to change or he at least makes an attempt. I would look into self help books, get counseling for yourself and make sure you have yourself protected as far as $$, a roof over your head, a job...etc. Like children, if you do too much for them and make it easy...why should they take responsibility for themselves. You are understanding of his past, that's important to take into consideration, but so is what you deserve from your marriage, from your partner and equal responsibility is important. You are not his caretaker, you are his partner in life. You should take care of each other. There are great resources available that can help us to understand why people do what they do...and how to help them understand change is needed and healthy. It's time something special is in the picture for you!

 

Hope it works out, keep us posted...

Take care,

Woobiegirl...

[This Name is fake]

He sounds like me, and you sound a little my girl. I'm know that's not the case. But it's weird.

[nenez]

He keeps repating his mistakes for attention, for results. We all do this, we get into repeating patterns and find them hard to break.

It seems as though you have done all you can do. Keep him in therapy, a disinterested party will have more luck pointing him in the right direction than you from within the realtionship.

Be calm and patient, and as with a child reward his 'good ' behaviour and try to ignore the bad. By going back to a child /parent relationship he will re find his inner child and be able to regrow and perhaps take a clearer path.

It is a long process and you will need to be patient.

Also look at practical ways to help. Perhaps he could be self employed if he keeps getting fired from his jobs, then he has to shoulder the responsibility for himself. Perhaps you should drive or sell the car to avoid jail time if he keeps getting caught.

Try a new circle of friends who dont knoew him so he can make a fresh start.

Good luck.

[Princess777]

Thank you all for your responses.