stay or go?

[dillydilly]

I been in a relationship for 3 years and for the last year I have been asking for us to sit down and talk about relationship goals. Make plans for the future even if its short term goals. He never really has an answers and never can sit down with me to talk about the future. Its really fustrating. I like to make plans and have things to look forward to. Right now I have nothing!

 

He does although has his own individual plans. So that tells me that he is capable to making them.

 

Fustrated and tired of waiting. Am I waisting my time?

[Mia_of_Doom]

What kind of goals are you trying to make? If it's marriage/engagement, he may just not be ready for those things. If your relationship is overall happy, I would say this is a really trivial thing to break up over.

[faithful14]

how old are you guys?

[Kumatora]

After reading this thread:

 

It's all about the pressure of marriage.

 

Yea, I would be upset too if a guy couldn't make up his mind whether to give you an engagement ring or a promise ring. Promise rings are bogus unless you're in middle school or high school. What are you promising, to marry or stay long term? Give an engagement ring then if you're going to do it. Otherwise, don't set a girl up and mess with her mentality, saying you'll marry her, but turn away from it. That's childish. That's what high school students do.

 

But on his defense, he has a lot of priorities to manage. He's not ready to live on his own if he's living with relatives. He's brought up money issues, which is understandable. He can't make up his mind about the relationship... with all of these issues occurring, he is incredibly stressed out. He can't commit to anything at this point, so pressuring him about making "plans for the future" (hence, marriage) is out of the question.

 

I'll be honest OP, I have been together for 4 years with my boyfriend. We don't have the money to move in together and live at our parents. We don't even have the finances to support a marriage at this point even though we are emotionally ready. It's the economy. We're waiting and searching for stable careers before jumping into a marriage since we know that the "recession" is temporary. It's called facing reality with a smart approach. If you are not willing to wait or help him out, then maybe this isn't the guy for you.

 

3 years really isn't that long. However, if you don't like his lifestyle and he can't manage his own priorities then breaking it off maybe the best thing. If it's meant to be, he will come back. I broke off with my boyfriend because he was in the same situation as your boyfriend. it took him over a year to finally get his sh*t together (like getting a medical degree and finishing it finally instead of screwing around in college) and be more responsible.

[savagegirl]

How old are you two? I think that's an important thing to know before we can give you advice. I would think after 3 years of being together he would have some sort of future plans with you, but it also depends on his age and maturity level.