Need advice! What to do?

[ihateme]

Lately I've finally felt that I'm happy with my life again after leaving a 2y relationship that was abusive on every level and involved cheating and lies. I really felt depressed for a long time. I have started to feel comfortable with myself beeing on my own, beeing single and focusing on my own life and haven't really even thought about meeting someone else.

 

Last weekend I was at a party and I had a great time, when suddenly this girl came and sat down in front of me. I just looked at her and was stunned. She started talking to me and we had a good conversation going. We spent the night together, just lying there in each others arms, looking at each other.

 

Then came morning, she said goodbye and left. We've had contact during the last week and she has told me that she felt that there was something special between us that night, and I have the same feeling. She also said she's in a situation in her life now that she don't want to fall in love with someone.. That she needs a time out. This is confusing because she want's to meet and has admitted that if I hadn't contacted her, she would have contacted me. This makes me very uncertain if I should go forward with this or not.

 

The other thing I'm uncertain of is that do I want a new relationship now when I'm finally starting to get comfortable with my own life again?

 

The thing that has kept my interest are the memories of that night we spent together and that feeling I've felt ever since I met her. I have never been a believer in love at first sight, but I might just have to consider it beeing possible. We've discussed meeting next week but I'm becoming afraid of seeing her because of the already strong feelings I have for her after I met her...

 

What would be the reasonable thing to do here? Should I go for it? Or should I just leave it as a fond memory of someone mysterious? ](*,)

[odile]

Why not meet with her?

Interestingly, it sounds like she may be in a similar place as you.

Why not try having an open discussion about where each of you are?

 

It doesn't sound like either of you are ready to jump headfirst into a relationship, and you don't know each other that well yet, either.

So, take it slowly.

Get to know each other, forge a friendship, and see how you both feel in a few months.

[offplanet]

It might be a bit risky to meet up with her, because you're already experiencing very strong feelings for her, and she's already warned you she doesn't want to fall in love. I don't see any problem with being honest and telling her you're wary of getting hurt (seeing as you discussed ex's) so think it wouldn't be a good idea to meet at this stage, but maybe some time later when you both feel less wary. She should understand that. I'm afraid you might get hurt if you proceed now.