Not knowing makes me tired a bit...or am I demanding?

[confused...]

Hello, I'm in LDR(different country) with my boyfriend. And problem is I THINK we don't communicate well. and he doesn't think that way.

 

Thing is, while he loves computer related thing too much, he doesn't reply to me much in e-mails. But i don't think he doesn't love me or anything(maybe?), just can't get it why he doesn't reply to my e-mails while the ways to keep in touch are limited.

 

I read many ppl in LDR are burned out, and by females most of the time.

I was surprised to read that actually, but at the same time, I know that it all depends on the person, but maybe its because the men give the women the reasons to do so? I don't know.

 

A lot of not-knowing make me wonder still...

[lil_mamarains13]

I best suggestions to you is to write him an e-mail and express to him your concerns. Ask him why he doesn't reply. He just may be really busy or something. You don't really know. I kind of know how you feel except my bf is only 2-1/2 hours away instead of a whole country. What gets you is all that time you have to sit there and think about things. You need to keep yourself occupied to give you less time to think about all the "What Ifs" If you don't you may wind up becoming depressed, and ruining the relationship. When I start to wonder things that I just can't get out of my mind I just sit down with my bf on the phone or while we are together and ask him about those things. I let him know I am not accusing him of anything, but I just need to get some reassurance because I have had to much time to sit around and think. Well I hope I helped some. Good Luck!

[confused...]

Thanks. I told him many times about my feeling over and over. Maybe too much to forget that is serious problem for me.

We have 4 or 5 months to go almost till we could meet again. And that is the our end of the LDR, I hope.

Keeping busy myself seemed to work one time, but since we have time difference and we don't communicate well so that eventually I feel like either is going to forget the other, although inside I don't think that's going to happen but feels like it.

 

2-1/2 hours away, sounds like my dream now so I could see him just a bit more often... compared to mine. But I know being away from each other is the same situation no matter how long is the distance.

 

Doing LDR for a year, and seeing each other 3 times in between. And everytime I get this awkward feeling for him. I thought its kinda getting used to thing, but everytime its tough. And after those thing, when we finally get together, I'm not sure if its going to work like it used to be before LDR.

thank you for the suggestion!

[phil1981UK]

Hi,

 

Communication is tough in an LDR, i am in the same situation as you, I live in the UK and my gf is polish and currently lives in Poland. We try to make it work but its tough when you are not directly involved in each others lives everyday, email, text messages and the occasional phone call are you can have and you need to make the most of them.

 

However people are different and have different levels of need on the contact front, i am fortunate that my gf is happy with contact every few days rather than 10 times a day, and this suits us both. You need to find common ground on your communication otherwise you will be in trouble!

 

And you'll be together in 5 months so its not to bad, i cant be with my gf for at least 18 months and only get to see each other every 3 or 4 months, its tough but possible, just communicate as best you can.

 

Dont worry that he dosent reply to your mails and things as long as he dosent drop contact all together, guys (myself included) seem to need less contact but still believe in the relationship.

 

Good luck, youll be together soon and it'll all be cool.

[confused...]

Hi thank you for the reply. Yeah true, I do need to know common ground...

But sometimes I feel impossible to get common ground with him.

For he doesn't even tell me he got letter from me, so I suppose my bf doesn't appreciate the contacts as much as I do.

I always get disappointed with his no reaction when I want at least him to tell me he got letter..or something.

I guess... the guys doesn't need contacts as much as women too, but isn't this my bf is a bit extreme? or way too relaxed..

I wish I could handle with this LDR like you do!