Clueless Virgin

[Fotini]

Hi. I'm a young man (not under 18 years old though) and I believe I may lose my virginity soon, but I believe I may be seeing some possible problems. Please note that I'm a high-strung person and me being nervous is pretty far from unheard of to anyone who knows me. Of course, this will be addressed as a possible problem...

 

First of all, what should I know in terms of what to do before during and after, etc.? For instance, things like foreplay and thus lubricating her lest she be in pain...I only now found out about how wet she is going to be thanks to these forums, so I feel kinda stupid and clueless.

 

Now, to be more specific. I know that I will be nervous on my first time, so how much of a problem can that be? Does it cause a potential problem? And what could I do to make me less nervous, other than tell myself to maintain and all that?

 

One particular problem I'm worried about is that it may feel simply too good for me to continue and perform properly. I'm sure whoever can give me advice understands what I mean, but to elaborate, sometimes when I masturbate I have to take it down a notch. I don't know how else to explain...I hope it's understandable.

 

Also, I'm worried about, I guess, taking my shot...I dunno, I think I've been given plenty of signs that it's alright, but I'm just awful when it comes to initiative (I'm working on that). Also, keep in mind, this isn't someone I've known for very long and we aren't really even official (I'm a college student, hehe). What exactly should I do to move things along to that level? I'm always worried about being an asshole for coming off as someone who expects it or something.

 

hopefully this will be my last question(s). I don't know how much "experience" she has, but it's probably a lot because she's my age and she's very sexy and attractive. I obviously do not have a lot of experience, so how much of a problem could this state of affairs be? She is a sweet girl and everything, and I would imagine that changes everything. How much does it change things if you, say, go from one person who has a lot of experience to someone who does not, and vice versa?

 

I think that's it, I hope it is. Thanks a lot, I can't believe I don't feel stupid for doing this.

[buffalosoldier]

Hey there sweet,

 

First and foremost, i think you should calm down and take some breaths 8)

 

I think that the main thing you need to concentrate on is relaxing and going with the flow.If you try and plan things too much then you will end up having a picture in your mind of how you think it should go and if it doesnt you may well end up getting something you're not prepared for which will make you worry.

 

The first time can be awkward, i mean you've never done it before so its bound to be. Seeing as you think shes a bit more experianced, why dont you see if she takes the lead? may take the pressure off you a bit, takes two to tango remember!!

 

First things first, you sound like a nice lad so im assuming you want to be gentleman-like about this? - if so then i would start off with kissing, and just generally getting a feel for things *winks* dont just dive straight on her.She may already be turned on by this, thus she may be slightly wet already. Then see if makes a move on you...if she doesnt then maybe you could ask to take some clothing of hers off..*tries to think back to first time* maybe you could make a kind of game outta it just to make it a bit less nerve racking, like maybe strip poker..haha i dont know but you get the idea.ask her what feels good and what she likes, then you cant really fail.

 

Overall i think your first time you will probably encounter a few blunders, it may not be mindblowing but dont sweat it, if she knows your a virgin then im sure she will understand.

 

To your second question.. i think that if you are too nervous then you may have trouble maintaining an erection, it would be your bodies kind of defence mode if you are really worried. so like i said try and chill as much as possible, maybe you could try some herbal remedies to calm you down some?

 

Now about it being too much for you to handle..that may welll be the case seeing as you have never done it before and dont really know what to expect. It doesnt matter as much as you think it does, honestly!! she will probably be flattered if you cant carry on for long, shows you find her attractive and that you are enjoying yourself so thats no probs.

 

Can i ask how well you know this girl because i got the impression at the start that this one someone you were kinda with..and by the end it doesnt seem that way..are you just looking to sleep around or do you like her and want a relationship?i can answer your other questions then.

 

Hope i helped a little,sorry im not a guy but you got a girls point of view.

 

Good luck

[Fotini]

Sorry, I'm really tired because I woke up two hours ago without much sleep. In fact I was making that post whilest consuming the continuation of my breakfast (how's that for an early-morning activity?).

 

Thanks for your post, that makes me feel a little better. I have heard before that being nervous can prevent an erection, in fact I meant to ask for confirmation on that, but I guess I got it already. Maybe I can take comfort in knowing that blunders are inevitable, but if I freak out over them it may be my number one blunder - no erection! Usually knowing what could happen if I freak out seems to calm me down.

 

I can't believe I didn't say more about it, but I basically picked her up at an on-campus party through dancing and things went from there, this was a week ago and we've since made out a lot. She's definitely not doing anything with anyone else and we've hit it off pretty well, probably the most suggestive was the dancing and fooling around, and once when she asked if I wanted to see her room (it was next door to her dorm room and that fact was mentioned somewhere at the time, so it may not mean -everything-, but when I was there I was kinda nervous and I was just saying really small and probably stupid things like, "Cool poster" - I didn't advance things very well). I know the situation isn't as romantic as I'd like to admit, but I do like her and I'd basically be happy with whatever happens, be it long-term relationship or hearing it's game over tomorrow.

 

Also she doesn't know I'm a virgin although some small little vibes I may have given off could tell her I am. Should I tell her beforehand?

 

Thanks a lot, great post. I'm working a bit on my confidence; I tend to hope for things to happen on their own rather than trying to grab the bull by the horns. I know mostly it's because I worry too much that I move things too quickly and piss her off or something, and I see other people just dive right in and get laid on the first night they meet someone or dance with them or whatever, so I know I could use a tad more intiative.

[buffalosoldier]

Hello again.

 

yes yes i think you definitely tell her. theres no reason that you shouldnt be honest, trust me she will think much more of you if you tell her the truth. Everyone is virgin at some stage in their lives so theres no reason to feel ashamed or anything like that!! Plus she can be a little more sensitive to your needs and will understand that you are going to be nervous if she knows.It might encourage her to take the intiative thus taking pressure off of you. Im sure she will remember her first time and so will be able to identify with you,plus im sure she will be flattered to know that out of everybody, you want her to be your first-thats very sweet!!

 

She sounds interested in you from what you have written so id say chances are you are in! i know its easier said than done but just try to relax and let things come naturally,im sure you wont annoy her, but even if you do feel really nervous just try and act like you are a bit more confident than you feel.-im not saying play games or dont be yourself by any means, but sometimes when you just act like you feel confident then it can help on the way to actually *feeling* confident.(Hope that makes sense).

 

You will be fine, once you have done it a few more times you will be much more confident and will wonder what you worried about so much. I wish you luck,let me know how things go!! If you need any more advie or tips im here.

 

good luck

 

Buffalo xx

[Micksbabyboo]

If you try and plan things too much then you will end up having a picture in your mind of how you think it should go and if it doesnt you may well end up getting something you're not prepared for which will make you worry.

I completely Agree, When you plan things nothing goes accordingly, Let it happen thats the best Advice any one can give you, Dont expect it to be anything, Just feel the moment you wont regret it. Also make sure you care about her enough to do have this relationship with her.

 

As for Foreplay, You will know what to do when it comes to it, Do what you feel.

 

 

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