how do i "train" my boyfriend????

[xoxlarixox]

hey guys!!....ok well i have a boyfriend, and we´ve been going out for 5 months, i love him soo much and he loves me, the thing is i sometimes feel he has total control over me, i mean...in a bad way, i sometimes feel like he says something and ill do it, i feel hes the boss of me, and im his lil b**** doing wutever he tells me to do..which is bad..and i honetsly dont want to go all rebel on him, and not do anything he says and talk back to him and get in fights etc cuz i really wnat thsi relationship to last...but im just tired of being the wrong one all the time...and im more tired of him rubbing it in my face that he was right!...so wut i was thinking, is maybe i could switch things around..me be the boss of him...any suggestions??... i mean i dont wnat to train him like a dog or anything, but it would be nice to have a change of things, like soemtiems i could be right about somethings, i dont always have to be the wrong one!or the one he blames things on....please help bye!!! thanx!!

[Mar]

Hon, it's not about being "boss." NO one should be boss in a relationship. It's about compromise-sometimes you give if you feel his wisdom is better, and he should give sometimes if what you suggest makes more sense. It's not about powerplays and one-upmanship. If it is, and if you feel you're being "dominated", then simply say "no" the next time he suggests something you don't agree with. If he belittles you for it, then you know he has a problem with stepping down or admitting he's possibly wrong, and that he might not be the one for you.

 

But above all, don't play games. Talk to him about how he makes you feel and see how he responds. If he claims that he feels he's simply always right, and you don't agree with that, suggest that maybe a break from each other is in order, since you don't feel the same and since compromise can't be reached. But there is never an "always right" or "always wrong" person in a relationship, keep that in mind!

 

Mar

[iabu_com]

This will get very easy for him and he will probably look for a real challenge. So better get cool and start being a little mean.

 

Everybody needs a challenging eviroment for his personal evolution and mental health. An unbalanced relationship where one is active and the other passive not something constructive.

[Emmylu]

Hard to tell what's really going on here. If you're new at relationships, you might find yourself constantly at a power struggle because you're not comfortable letting go of control. When you're alone, you're the "boss" of course, 'cos there's only you. Becoming half of a couple takes adjustment.

 

I had a friend whom I thought was always bossing her bf. But she complains about him bossing her around. You see, it's a matter of perception. I then asked myself if I do the same, and I have to admit that there are times when I accused my bf of bullying me, only because I didn't get my way.

 

You have to figure out what's what for yourself. If you can be happy being bossed around, then you're not really being bossed around.

[caliboy]

Mar's right, it's all about compromise. Sounds like your boyfriend has a lot of bad pride. Not the good pride as in proud of your accomplishments, but the bad pride that comes along with rubbing in your face that you're wrong. The best way to handle this is to stand your ground the next time a situation like this comes up without being mean. If you feel you have an opinion or a better resolution to a dilemma, then state it to him and have him prove you wrong if he feels his idea is better. Communicate to each other until you come to a compromise. Or it may happen that you see he's right, or you're right. Either way, it's not a matter of power or pride. Pride or power tripping has no room in a relationship.