How much to give

[bridey]

I have been seeing this guy for about a month (so not very long, but I have known him for 7 months) and I am feeling frustrated because I am the only one putting forth any effort. He calls me back if I call him, and when we talk on the phone it usually exceeds an hour, so he is interested in talking to me. When we spend time together it is fun and we have a good time, and we have awesome sex! The problem I have is that he doesn't initiate anything. I feel I leave him enough time to do this, so I don't think I am just beating him to it. In fact, I wonder if I didn't call him, if I would ever hear from him again. I am a friend of his best friend, who says he likes me, so I know he is interested. He has a lot of stuff going on with an ex-girlfriend and their baby, so I wonder if maybe he just needs more time and space? I guess I pretty much know that I just need to back off and see what he does, but I want some opinions. I really like him and don't want him to just go away, but I don't want to come off as desperate either!

[Tinkerbell]

I think that you're on the right tract thinking it has something to do with his girlfriend and baby. Perhaps he feels guilty because he's not with her anymore and the child won't grow up with the "typical" happily married mother and father. I suggest you give him some space and wait for him to call you. If he doesn't, have a talk with him letting him know how you feel and that his lack of initiating things is frustrating. Since you're afraid of losing him, take this into account..If you let something go and it comes back, it's worth it.

[bridey]

Cherry,

thanks for your response. Pretty much everything I was thinking, but I wanted reassurance. We talked a while back, about where we were going with this, and he said he felt like an a**hole, seeing someone so soon, blah, blah, blah, so didn't think he was ready for having a gf (basically, not ready to get serious), but wanted to spend time with me and liked being around me. He wanted to know what my expectations were, because he seemed to think I wanted all or nothing. I said that I just wanted to see him and see where it went and that ultimatly, I would want a bf, but that it would take time (I am only 8 month out of a 7 year relationship). So, I guess, I will wait it out and see if he comes around. If he needs more time, I will give it to him, because I really like him and think he is worth it. If it takes a few months, I can wait. Not that I will close my eyes, though, maybe a better opportunity will come along!