Help me out!!

[babycarrot]

Let me give a little background: Me and my beau have been together for 2 years and we've been best friends for maybe 3-4 years, right before we seriously got together he had a fling with me and this other girl (we'll call sue)at the same time, to make it short I ended up forgiving him and life went on.

So last night my boyfriend told me that he was going to stay the night over at his friend's house. This morning his mom calls me saying that she called over at his friend's and he didnt stay the night there, and she doesnt know where he is. I called everywhere looking for him because of course I am worried about him. And I find out he stayed the night at Sue's house (his friend told me this) but his friend was there all night long with them, well until about 4 in morning. So I call him at Sue's house, and he knows I am mad so he comes over right away. When he comes up his shaking, and of course I yelled at him. And told him I wanted to take a break... and possibly not get back together, the entire time he was crying. Promising that nothing happened, and promising that he accidentally fell asleep at her house. So what do I do? I told him we were on a break to think about things...

[nexhial]

I don't know how qualified I am to answer this, but I do have enough experience in relationships to be general. How close is he to "sue"? And why was he there in the first place? If his answers do not bring you and peace of mind, and if you still don't trust him; then taking a break could help to prove whether he really cares about you that way or not.

but you do what you feel is best.

 

I personally know about being at the end when the girl takes " a break" and it ends up finishing off the relationship entirely. But it was for the best eventually.

 

good luck to you.

[babycarrot]

He has been on and off friends with sue for years. He said that he was there because him and his friend(who went over there) were bored. Another thing is that when I called him at sue's in the morning he tried to lie to me and tell me that he didnt stay the night, but later told me that he only did that because he was so scared and didnt know what to do.

[nexhial]

Well, his lying to you about something like that is clue enough. Cannot base a good, firm relationship with lies. If you still wanna be with him, that is your choice, obviously. But something like that, I personally would not be able to trust him fully. You have to ask yourself, " would he do it again? Is he really sorry? " and " is he worth the hassle? "

I am sure you can find the answers as clearly as they are.

 

good luck to you.

[babycarrot]

Yknow... it hurts so bad but I know it is true. I couldnt imagine being married to someone who lies sooo much... especially when we're also supposed to be best friends... what the %$#@? But here is the hard part... how do i put 2 years behind me and move on? do i contine to be his friend? do i move on quick? or i move on slow? i've never ended such a long relationship.... i dont know what to do...........

[nexhial]

If you care about him, you will still remain his friend and be there for him when he needs support. But as far as a serious relationship or intimate one goes, you really would have nothing worth putting into it if he lies so much.

I say, still be his friend, but put some measure of distance between you. He needs some time away so he can re-think he constant decision to lie, and you need some space so can contemplate whether or not you can live without him - in an intimate sense.