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I knew this would happen


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Well, I've been dreading my birthday for some time now, and it came and went with no happy birthday from the ex. I don't know why I care. It seems like a different life ago that her and I were together. But for some reason, her not wishing me a happy birthday really brought me down. I actually thought I'd hear from her. Maybe it's better that I didn't. But it sure is making me sad.

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Yup...there it is...one of the milestones in healing from a break-up-one of those moments when we actually realize that it's over...and now, it's past...you made it-keep your chin up, be sad for a moment, that's ok. But you made it, you did it, and it's done. You just stepped past yet another stepping stone on the way to future happiness-and that's a good thing!

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You're sad because it really sends the message that it is over and you two will probably never speak again. I'm not trying to be harsh but part of going on with your life and not hanging onto false hopes is believing that is over and the relationship will never rekindle again.

 

It's all about accepting the situation. You can't control it.

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I went through this when I heard nothing on Thanksgiving. It hurts, but confirms. I'm lucky my birthday isn't for another 8 and a half months and I will hopefully be long over him by then, maybe even with someone better if the relationship gods like me

 

Either way, it just reinforces. Another part of moving on. You made it, though, and that is the hardest part.

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hate that I can allow that to disappoint me! I have an amazing amount of people who are going to wish me a happy birthday, people who STILL love me, people who care, support, and respect me...why would I need that * * * * * * * to be the one person who makes my birthday a good or bad one?!

 

Ugh!

 

So I know that he thought of me on that day? Well the truth is I am sure all our exes thought of us on the day, they just didn't care enough to let us know. And who wants peole who don't truly care to let them know anything.

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actually though-if they thought of you on that day and didn't contact you, it isn't because they don't care (usually at least)...it';s more because they do care, and realize that they still want to be done, and realize that by contacting you, it could elicit flase hope in you and maybe prolong the pain...

 

This may not apply in all situations, but certainly in some...

 

Either way it's over, and you made it!

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Getting a happy birthday message really doesn't help any... and it's actually probably better that you didn't (for the reason of killing false hopes.)

 

In my case, I actually did get contacted by my ex for a e-mailed "Happy birthday back on my birthday (that was 3 weeks ago.) I replied "Thanks," she replied "you're welcome." Haven't heard from her since.

 

Trust me, regardless if you got the happy birthday message or not you need to focus on moving on not relationship rekindling. Either way would have felt bad.

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Thanks for the comments guys, I appreciate it. After a few days of letting it sink in, I think I'm glad I didn't hear from her. I have to believe she thought of me that day. But I know full well it is over and I know she feels that way too, so what would have been the point in her contacting me? I am learning that the heardest part of healing are the firsts of everything without that person...the first Thanksgiving, the first birthday, the first Christmas , the first New Years. I'm almost through it all. I have to accept that this is how it is and try to be at peace with it. I'll get there someday, hopefully someday soon.

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Yeah, you will. I wasn't trying to diminish or skate over the pain that this involves. It sucks, it hurts, it's hard. But listen-it's also good that you hae not heard from her.

 

The firsts are tough-and we are here for you to vent. Use your family and friends as well. And get out there...Put a smile on, even if it's fake-but get out there and find at least one reason to look at the world and smile, at least once, each day...

 

The firsts will be over eventually. And that's when you get to truly look forward to the "nexts"...

 

My best-hang in there...and Happy Holidays...

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All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You
All I Ever Wanted Was to Love You

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