So where how do I meet people?

[jester5536]

Ok, got some very nice replies to my last post, but that leads me to the question of how.

 

Being a recovering dork I've never actually been to a proper bar and am anxious about being a loner in that type of situation (a shy loner at that). I have tried the club/dance scene and found it not to really be my style, too many people (think I might be slightly agoraphobic). So any good suggestions of where to go / how to behave, in such a manor that a very shy person like myself would be able to meet QUALITY women? Preferably I'd go with quality women who I have something in common with, but I'm willing to start anywhere. (Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find a liberal woman in dallas? )

 

So, ideas, pointers, starting points, anything would be appreciated. The bottom line is this, to me, being single is a HUGE problem, really the worst problem I've had in the past 8 years. I place more value on companionship than I do any other goal in life, always have. It is a problem I always thought I would never be able to fix, but I took the chance when I moved to college to completely reinvent myself to become a better person both physically and mentally, I'd like to think I've really improved myself. So, now that I've taken the time, how do I apply these improvements to this problem?

 

Sorry for the manifesto length of my posts, I like to rant

[dockorama]

Ha, shiii... my posts are horrific in length compared to yours man.

 

What about student organizations, possibly within your major? I'm thinking intramural sports (parties afterwards) would be pretty fun for you.

[SunnyScott]

It really depends what you are looking for.

 

I think that if you want a long-term relationship, then you shouldn't worry to much as to where/how to meet/converse with a girl. You should let it flow, and not force things. Just let things flow naturally. That's how you'll find the best loves of your life.

 

Sometimes by putting extra effort in finding someone will only direct you to the wrong path. Like the old saying, "You'll run into the right person when you least accept it."

 

Just think of it as a gift from God, a present that will be waiting for you when the time's right.

 

On the other hand, if you just want to chat up with some ladies just to date and not to be so serious with, then I suggest going to places that you love, hobbies, bookstores, places that are generally of your itnerest. And strike up a conversation with the lady, and then let the conversation go from there.

 

By going to a setting that you feel at ease, and less superficial, you will find people who have common interests like you. Unlike bars, you might find a feel phonies who might just want to hook up for a cheap thrill.

 

From that point on, if the conversation flows, ask to hang out, talk on the phone...say something like, "I think that you're a cool person, maybe we can keep in touch..."

 

If you want to not seriously date this person, then tell them upfront, "I'm not financially ready, emotional...whatever, just as long as you tell them that you're not ready to be serious, then at least, no one will hurt in the end. It will be a fair game. After having those experiences, you'll eventually break away from your shell, and more natural at conversing (and getting to know the opposite sex in general).

 

I hope this helps. Sorry it had to be so long, but just wanted to give you some insight! Good Luck!

[jester5536]

Thanks for the replies,

 

I guese what I lack is just a general understanding of how to approach strangers. In gen. I tend to see two groups, people I know and people I don't know, I don't really seem to understand the bridge between the two.

 

Perhaps just jumping in and introducing myself to everyone is what I should do, seems a bit pushy tho, dunno, suppose it would depend how you did it.

[sweetapples]

Jester5536, I am really shy as well, my goal is to overcome my shyness. Just recently I have starting approaching girls that I'm attracted to. I still get nervous but I know that over time I will get more comfortable and it will come more naturally.

Good luck Jester.