my friend just doesn't get it

[punkrawker359]

Hey everyone, I've got a problem here concerning one of my best friends and his girlfriend that has done nothing but cause stress and tension between everyone the two of them know.

 

First off, two days ago, a guy I know said some "things" to my friends girlfriend, and no matter how much I don't like her, I still think it wasn't that nice of a thing to do. Anyway, my friend, being the typically nice boyfriend he is, went over and talked to the guy about what he said. Later on that day, he went over to his girlfriend, I'll call her "Christie", and when he put his arm around her, she started yelling at him for talking to the guy, aka defending her.

 

This bothers me, because these sort of things happen every 2 weeks or so, and I'm getting sick of reminding my friend each time it happens. He has been lied to, yelled at, beat down (not literally), and made a fool of by this girl too many times for me to just stand by. My friends and I have talked to him more times that I can count about breaking up with her, even taking a break so he could look back at what's happened, but everytime we come close, she says "i'm sorry" or "i was having a bad day", insincerely in my eyes.

 

I know this is a long post, but I've tried everything I can think of. If anyone out there knows anything I could do, please help, I want the best for my friend, and she certainly isn't.

 

Thanks

[enadevoli]

i know you want to be there for your friend, but you have tried every thing. if he doesn't see by what you have done already, then he's not going to see it, probably not for a long time. you are a great friend for wanting to be there for him, but theres only so much you can do. i've had things like this happen with a friend, but she just doesn't get it. one day, your friend will see whats going. unfortunately your friend is just going to have to learn the hard way. i know as his friend, you don't want to see him get hurt, but i dont think there really is much you can do. you could try talking to his girlfriend, maybe let her know that you are hurt by the way she treats your friend. maybe she will understand. your friend is going to need you when this is all over. if you cant open his eyes to see what his girlfriend is doing, then just be there for him at the end.

[The Morrigan]

Unfortunately, enadevoli is right. As long as he doesn't want to see it, he's not going to. And more likely than not, pointing out her behavior to him will end up putting him in the position of feeling he has to defend her - the opposite of what you're hoping. I'd say sit back on this one, and just make sure he has a good time when you guys hang out to give him a yardstick for comparison - and wait it out. Have a bit ot faith in him to eventually see through her and be there to support him when he does, instead of putting yourself at odds with her where he might start feeling he has to choose. Accept that for now, she has a hold on him, and keeping him as a friend is more important - when things fall through, he'll need you there, and it'll be a LOT easier to turn to you for support if he doesn't feel you've been "against" her and might say "I told you so," or feel like he was a fool and only he didn't see it. Best of luck!

[QTpie87]

sounds to me like he needs to wake up and smell the sunshin. he needs a new girlfriend

[punkrawker359]

i think i will just stop buggin him about it for the most part and see how that goes, but QTpie is so right, everyone has said that to him, including himself more than like 8 times in a matter of a few months. but oh well, i'll just see how things go, thank you all for helpin