the past CANT be changed but the present CAN be prevented

[neva_black_n_white]

hey everyone,

 

i just wanted to see what were the things that you guys regret or things that you would have wanted to do/do again but didnt bother?

 

i mean i seem to take alot of risks ensuring i dont regret not doing things, yet the things that do bother me are the ones that dont need risks.

 

what im saying is that its right you cant change the past, you can resolve it but you cant change it. but you can prevent and change the future.

 

so what would be the

1: the thing you regret not doing or not doing again

 

2: would would have you attempted to change but cant

 

3: something you will prevent or change in the future

 

?

 

any opinions or just your views, on what we will experiance, and if you think that the past can be changed?

 

thanks kel

[Heretic]

Alright here goes.

 

1: Loving. I never regret loving though it can hurt a lot of the time it is the most wonderful feeling when two people share a mutual love.

 

2: I wish I hadn't had sex so early. It would have been better had I waited.

 

3: I will be more open with my feelings and more patient with my love.

 

Well that's that I guess.

[akatoro]

1:

I regret not having taken certain opportunities concerning love.

I regret having depended so much on others.

I regret having sacrificed so much of myself and taken responsibility for things I was to blame for.

 

2:

I would have attempted to help my friend who I did not know was suicidal and depressed. He later killed himself.

I would have looked harder into the opportunities of the future.

I would have been more true to myself from the very beginning and not think that I can handle anything.

 

3:

I'll go on till my body falls apart and never give up no matter what.

I'll never sacrifice myself again over pity problems that can be solved without turning into a martyr.

I'll never be somebody's puppet!

[justagirl]

1.) I regret not telling my friend Zack everything I should have said and also not seeing him one last time. (he died july 19, 2003).

 

I regret not taking the time to go visit a friend of mine...and... I regret the way I acted towards him when he asked me for space. In my mind I thought he was trying to push me out of his life and I couldn't understand why he'd want to do that, so I kept asking him why and what was going on...when what I should have done was backed away.

 

2.) I wish I would have stayed late at work to see Zack the day he came.

 

I would have given the friend mentioned above the space he needed when he asked for it, maybe he would still want to be friends like we were before...or at least better than things are now.

 

3.) I will be more careful of trusting people and what they say. Not letting people take advantage of me being around and hurting me. Always tell people how I truly feel about them before I can't tell them anymore. I'll be more careful of my feelings.

 

Everything happens for a reason and happens so we learn something. Even if the lesson doesn't come right away or it feels like thats a stupid reason for something to happen, eventually we'll know why it happened and think "ohhh, I get it now." Getting hurt is part of life, if you've never been hurt, you've never really lived. The past cant be changed but thats what makes it the past. It happened, you learn from it, and go on.

 

Justagirl

 

[vfunkera]

great topic kel. Justagirl's reply was moving, and it has definetly opened my eyes. i heard the messages about telling people you love them before its too late, but i guess i was never given a real life example.

 

Here goes...

 

1. I guess i regret not looking for experience and not bumping into this website while i was with my ex. If i had only been noted the advice on here i would probably still be with her.

 

2. My reaction to the break up, the way i chased her- ugghhhh!!!!

 

3. Learn my mistakes and learn from what experience teaches. I have already learnt so much from other peoples replies so far.

 

Despite my answers based on my ex, i don't strangle myself over her and if she came back i would tell her shes wasting her time.

As my signature pretty much sums up, the past can't be changed but we can and should learn from it. We continue growing one day at a time, but make sure you live life to the fullest so that there will be no regrets what so ever. Many of the answers so far have been based on regrets, so make sure there won't be none of that.

 

What about you kel? Interested to hear yours and anyone elses answers answers. Keep them coming

[Happy_Go_Lucky_Heb]

1: the thing you regret not doing or not doing again

I don't have regrets, I believe that things happen for a reason and always, no matter what there will be ups and downs of a action and as long as I'm happy where I am, which I am, I won't regret anything.

 

2: would would have you attempted to change but cant

Nothing, what's happened has happened.

 

3: something you will prevent or change in the future

I don't usually go out of my way to change something. But I guess I just want to be more aware of things so I'll know how to deal with it.

 

Hey kel, happy here Haven't seen you round for a while but I've been away anyway. Hope ur good.

 

Happy Heb

[whitefang]

Hi Kel, here's my 3:

 

1. Confessing my feelings towards someone i had loved for ages, but never got the chance to say.

 

2. My last girlfriend's personality and attitude (not sure if this counts though?).

 

3. Be more confident in myself and be more open about my true feelings. Not destroy anyone else's happiness just because im unphappy.

 

- whitefang

[The Morrigan]

1: the thing you regret not doing or not doing again

 

Looking into myself a little sooner to see what my own wants and needs really were - and doing something about it.

 

2: would have you attempted to change but cant

 

My relationship with a few of my friends could probably have been a little better had I been more open to it.

 

3: something you will prevent or change in the future

 

Doing nothing for fear of change - it's better to take a chance sometimes than watch an opportunity pass by.

[neva_black_n_white]

hey everyone thanks for your responces, there all different!

 

Heretic i like what you had to say with your second point you show that things really dont need to be rushed despite desire. im hoping this doesnt refer to me but i guess it will. would you say this is a hard thing to deal with (having sex so early) or does it not come up much within relationships?

empowering first and third answers!

 

sheyda bless you for your first answer, i believe a lot of us will feel like that at some point! i vouch a second vote for your third answer, well in some situations anyway.

 

Akatoro that was an amazing reply, im sorry you had so many regrets.

your answer number two on changes was very moving. sorry for your loss.

i agree completely when you say:

i'll go on till my body falls apart and never give up no matter what!

 

justagirl sorry for your loss also-i understand how you feel, i never got to say all the things i wished to say to my grandparents and before i knew it id lost them. ever felt youve lost someone without them knowing how much you truly loved them?

 

sometimes we do things in good deed and it doesnt help, actions you made werent intentional and now you know in action and result what to do incase this comes up again. amazing and emotional post justagirl. thankyou. and you are right, everything is done for a reason.

 

vfunkera *agrees to number one* the site has helped me alot also!

2 guessing this is a fault that you have learnt from deffinitley regarding to your third answer!

great ending and your signature does sum it up, i really liked it.

 

p.s. ill put mine in a post at the end of this one.

 

Happy_Go_Lucky_heb 1: i like how you answered and viewed this question and same for the second, only i wish i could be like this and think the way you do but it seems that some situations are the things i just cant let go off.

 

i completely agree with th answer you gave to the third question though

 

and:

hey happy! im good thanks, you had a vaccation? sounds good, and how are you taking life at the moment? *coughs* the wuotes forum has been deleted *coughs* bye x

 

whitefang hey also

1: why was that so? (no' 1)

sorry about that, its hard to acknowledge you have the feelings let alone not being able to share them!

2: anything counts!

3: great responce, *claps*.

i dont believe anyone shoulf be hurt through others actions.

 

the morrigan in regards to your first answer, would you say that people have played on that aspect or took advantage?

2: it happens to the majority of us, especially when things are said too late.

3: love that answer!

 

anyway great responces so far and ill give you my answers, when ive next got time (soon)

 

thankyou for sharing this everyone.

kel

[neva_black_n_white]

ok here goes for my answers (hope your readin vfunkera)

 

1: the thing you regret not doing or not doing again

 

i regret not being able to say goobye to my grandparents, having known them for what time i did i believe that this would have been something i needed to do not to hold on as long as i am still doing. you see you cant let go but there has to be a point where youi just try to stop grieving.

 

2: would have you attempted to change but cant

 

i guess it would be the same as above, knwoing how to solve something now but couldnt then will be something that will remain to hurt me. i mean have you ever had the answer but it was just a few seconds late of the required time?

 

3: something you will prevent or change in the future

 

letting people know how i feel, expressing how i feel and not hurting others in the process. to be me but not play up and live life to the maximum time

 

thanks everyone and i guess thats me.

kel

[justagirl]

Hey neva_black_n_white,

 

Thank you.

 

ever felt youve lost someone without them knowing how much you truly loved them?

 

Yes, I have. My friend Zack was a case of "wishing I had said something, but I never did." It turns out he felt the same, according to his mom and all the things he said to her about me. So, I still feel awful about not letting him know, but he knows now.

Also, with my friend that I unintentionally pushed away. But, I'm not sure if him knowing my feelings would change anything or make it worse. So, I've bottled up all feelings for him. Just so if we ever do talk again, he wont have any reason to hold anything against me and say I'm letting my feelings get in the way. I dunno, I just still feel awful that a great friendship got messed up, for reasons...well I'm not quite sure of the reasons still...but as I said before...everything happens for a reason. But This reason better be darn good for all this to have happened though

 

 

Justagirl

 

[scaryhobo]

1: the thing you regret not doing or not doing again

 

I regret questioning my feelings so much and worrying about what I should be feeling or what feelings appropriate to the situation and trying to control my feelings. I wish I had listened more to my heart and tried to face and understand my feelings instead of denying them.

 

2: would have you attempted to change but can't

 

I wish the relationship I had with the the last girl I liked had the chance to blossom instead of getting cut short.

 

3: something you will prevent or change in the future

 

I will be more bold and confident, and get over the fears that make me reluctant to do so many things.

[deeds]

Hi Kel,

 

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time, it is regret for the things that we did not do that is inconsolable."

Sidney J. Harris

 

The good news is we get to keep trying, even when we screw up, we can have another go and perhaps do a better job next time. The things I most regret not doing are the things I dont do because I am afraid of what other people think.

 

deeds

[neva_black_n_white]

hey,

thanks for the responce justagirl i hope you didnt mind me asking questions which regarding zack but he seemed like a great person.

 

scaryhobo: regarding your second answe, why didnt you blossom? i mean werent you comfortable at the time, im sorry that you have realised that now and not before hand, is there no way that you can resolve thngs with her? or such as?

 

i liked your answers though thankyou

 

deeds: nice quote, i liked that one! are you self conscious then? i have the same feelings, why is it that people judge? and thereforeeee we limit? ever been in a scenario where your thinking about something and youve got a debate or answer to a quetion but your worried what they will say, two minutes later someone else turns around and says it? weird isnt it.

 

i guess we have to develop in ourselves to be confident enough to cope with this.

 

thankyou!

 

kel

[scaryhobo]

It never blossomed because she lives in Brazil and I don't. We spent some time together and it was great, but I don't think we really had enough time together for things to really take off. I think they could have if we really had a chance to spend time together, but at the time I had my life to live and so did she, and unfortunately our lives were 7000 miles apart. Now I find myself trying to come to terms with the fact that despite all the potential we still have, she isn't interested in giving us a chance anymore, even though we have the oppertunity now (this is how I came to be a contibuter to this forum, heh).

[neva_black_n_white]

im sorry about that,, i hope i didnt intminds herself that sometimes she should just shut up*

 

i appreciate you explaining what you meant and i get the jist of it now. im sorry to hear also that when you hadnt the time you wanted to make it work and now you do have the time she doesnt, hopefuly there is a friendship that could remain, and if not that just a memory. well to memories are some of the most important things i hold to name.

 

kel