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guy that can't orgasm

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this is kind of embarrassing, but i'm a 17 year old guy and have been with this girl for about 1/2 a year. when we make out and she starts giving me a handjob or going down on me, i can't come. i can achieve this through masturbation so i don't know. it's not like she doesn't excite me either, she does...alot. she can get me to the point of coming, then the feeling goes away. she isn't doing anything wrong, that i know of at least, because it feels good and like i said she almost gets me there. i'm thinking it's more of a problem with me, but i don't know what i should do. i feel bad because she feels bad that she can't get me off, and i feel bad just because i can't get off. i've never heard of a guy having this problem before, usually it's just the opposite that they get off too soon. it's really bothering me...if anyone has any ideas as to what's wrong and how i could fix it, or something she could do, the help would be appreciated!

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Although this may sound unusual, it's not actually all that odd. There are several things that could be affecting you in this way.


First of all, you may have become tense about this issue, and are not allowing yourself to relax enough. You're likely putting pressure on yourself that you shouldn't. Perhaps once you realize there's nothing wrong with you, you'll feel a bit better.


The stimulation she's giving you is quite probably quite different than you give yourself. She may be stimulating you in different areas, or is using different pressure, or something similar. This will change your sensations, and you may not feel the same. Also, it's possible you are being over stimulated. If the feelings are too intense, they can almost become unpleasant. Is this the case?


Either way, you should coach her, to tell her exactly what to do, and how fast or slow to do it. Don't be embarrassed to demonstrate. If that doesn't work, take over after a while and show her right through to the end. This should help relax you for next time, and prove that it is possible for you to orgasm in her presense, if you haven't yet.

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my boyfriend has the same problem. he can orgasm through sex and masturbation, but not if i give him a hand job or go down on him. it used to upset me a lot, but i'm starting to just accept it. i wish i knew of a way to help, but i don't (and trust me, i've tried and tried to find a way)


we're trying to kind of "retrain" his penis though. for instance, when you masturbate, start stroking it differently right when you get to the point of orgasm. then get it to where you can orgasm without going as hard and fast. that's what we're trying to do, i'll let you know if it works.

but until then, just let her go down on you or give you a hand job without the intent of making you orgasm. or when she gets you to the point, you can take over and finish yourself.


anyway, that's just the way you are. no point in the two of you getting upset over it if you can't change it.

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