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cant get over him...help!

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hi everybody....


I am a 24 yo old gay guy who recently broke up with my bf and really hurting...I met my ex two years ago exactly because of what we call fate...some weird coincidences got us together and we fell in love so madly with each other... we moved in together withing 3 months we only knew each other(i know it sounds crazy but felt so right at the time). Things wouldnt go very well from the beginning because i was becoming very possessive and jealous over him and giving him a hard time. In a way,it was like I was trying to test his limits and personal boundaries, how much he could take in order to be with me.I know I was mad and was going through a lot of emotional instability and distress. He coped with me for quite long time but He started hating me for what I was doing to him. We eventually broke up after a year and 5 months we spend together in total. We tried to stay apart and not communicationg but we couldnt.Things changed,and eventually we got back together. It was my turn then to pay for what i was doing at the first part of the realtionship. Even though,he got back and decided to give a fresh start,he was being weird and not giving me attention. I have to mention that i was seeing a counsellor at the time in order to learn to cope with my problems and insecurities. Things would change only for a while and would get worse again. We never moved in again and I think it was a big mistake to ever get back again.Once he disappeared for a couple of days and didnt call me until the next. I realised then that this relationship was making me ill and unable to resist.He finished with me again but now I see things going the same way again. I am not sure he wants to come back because I dont even want to talk about it but we both said that we d like to try to stay friends because we still love each other. At last...i would like to say that I had the best time of my life when the relationship was good but the worst misery when things were getting bad. Please help me, I cant see clearly what to do.I am thinking to let go and never get in touch with him but the thought of not seeing him again ever makes me feel so depressed.PLEASE HELP!!!

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The best way to get over somebody is to stop all contact with him... at least for one year. It's going to be tough, but work on getting your life back together... keep going to counseling.... and start dating again.


I'm sorry to say it, but your relationship with this guy sounded unhealthy... and it sounds inevitable that it would end the way it did. You will eventually get over him, it is just a matter of time.


Make sure to work on your "jealousy" "insecurity" issues so that next time you find somebody special, you are prepared.


Be strong.

Princess JJ

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thanks for your great message...you are so right.Its so difficult for me even though i know he s not the right person for me,i cant still get him out of my mind.We lived together and he was such a big part of my life and now its so hard.I know its going to be hard but it has to be done that way...thanks again and i wish you all the happiness for the new year,



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