How do you make friends?

[Jordan42]

I'm 28 and haven't had a real friend (other than my soon to be ex-husband) since I was 14. I am shy and socially inept. I have been trying to become better friends with the people I work with, but I don't know how its going. I don't want to come off as desperate or clingy and I don't want to be distant and aloof. I don't know how to let people know I like them and would like to hang out with them. I have invited some people from work to go to the movies or go disc golfing (I work at a place called Discraft and we make golf discs and other kinds of discs) but I get turned down every time. People already have other friends and a life of their own. It's so discouraging. Yesterday I had a great time with people from work playing lazer tag and bowling after our Christmas dinner. I'd like to let them know I had fun and would like to maybe join them for lunch and other activities outside of work, but I have no idea where to begin. I feel like I'm 14 again. Bleh.

[Boromir]

Well, I can be very social, but after being in a relationship for four years I let everything go, and when my ex and I broke up, I was very lonely. I was able to restart some friendships but many had gotten married and had kids, so they couldn't go out as much.

 

One of the first things I did was join a kick ball league (yeah, kick ball) for adults. It was a fun social thing that was more about drinking beer and socializing than being any kind of athlete. The idea was that if you were young at heart (which I am) and your are even playing something like kick ball with other, everyone is probably on the same wave length. I had lots of fun and when the season was over, kept some of the friendships.

 

Now, I am not saying that you have to play kickball, but the idea is to try and find something that involves being social and is fun. Things like Softball tend to be too competative and is taken too seriously, so I like things I can clown around in. Maybe you have some things you'd like to do? Check a local paper for activities or groups that are doing stuff. You wont become friends with everyone, but if you get a couple here, a couple there, you will well be on your way.

 

Also, try to smile alot. New people like out going friends and fun times. Don't rely on work for friends either, all you'll end up doing is talking about work when u go out. Try new things. There is so much out there, and you will find people who are similar to you.

 

Keep your chin up.

[swift44]

just be yourself really. it can never hurt and people will be friends with the real you and not who they think you are, ou must also be confident and dont be nervous relax its alot easier to make friends when your not worried about it

good luck and happy holidays

.

[Cid]

Be your self. Have fun. People will like you for how you are not how your trying to be.

[just_smile]

hey

just like everyone else has said really is just be yourself, their really true words. if you had fun with your work colleagues then tell them and offer for them to go out and do something, i know that you said that you had tried but they turned you down, dont let that get to you get back on the horse and try again.

 

other options could be to find something that you are interested in and start up a hobby, like painting, pottery, going to the gym, playing sports, people who have the same hobbies as you are more likely to get on with you because you have something in common.

 

hope this helps, there just a few suggestions and you never know they may just work

 

~LJ =;