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May 31, 2008 in Relationship Advice
My advices/comments usually come out as harsh so I will try (really really try) not to go there this time. Hopefully I will succeed.
The thing you need to accept about relationships is that they do change a lot during time. That is unchangeable truth and you need to be aware of it. I've been in one almost 4 years long and I have to tell you that it changed a lot during time and I guess that success of the relationship is actually how you two can adapt to changes and will you embrace those changes or snap out because of them.
About not wanting to discuss things through - I will tell you something from my own standpoint and from the standpoint of my friends where most of them are in successful marriages or really long term relationships. They all tell me not to argue about things I can't really change and that most of the time it's the best just to agree with SO's (females) decisions because unnecessary drama just makes additional problems.
About not going out as before - it is also normal to spend more nights at home than out, especially if two of you are not party animals and/or under late 20. I've also noticed that it is important to go out for some event at least once every month so that is something that your bf has to learn. You also say that both of you are trying to save money but that is not a reason you couldn't take him out somewhere where you don't need a lot of money. Why not initiate something?
I really hope this post made sense, because I am so confused right now. I am getting teary-eyed right now because I feel like I'm on the verge of losing my boyfriend and best friend. :sad: If anyone has any advice for me, or if anyone has been in a similar situation, let me know. I'm at a loss of what to do right now.
About quoted part - I think you're highly overreacting and if you really "loose your bf and best friend" it will be (sorry to say) because of your "perfectionism". I'm sure both of you are not perfect so why asking from your relationship to be perfect? There is no such thing. Don't make such drama out of it because it will create a lot of problems.
Thank you for your honest advice. I didn't take it as harsh, I actually agree with you and that I shouldn't be overreacting so much. I am definitely trying to work on not overanalyzing things to death. Thanks again.
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