I'm just so lost

[Simply_Josh]

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for around 3 months now. When our relationship started for the first month and a half it was going good. We was getting along perfect talking for hours everynight. Then we both realized that we love each other seriously. And after we realized this things stayed normal like they was before except we was more effectionate towards each other. The recent past two weeks she has been very short tempered with me. Alot of the time she would get mad at me for what seemed no reason at all. So since she was always getting mad with me I decided to ask her how she thought our relation ship was going. She tells me that she really dosnt know and she is starting to doubt things. I asked her what things she said us and summer time is coming soon so idk. I told her I never wanted it to be like this. She tells me what about what I want you never care about what I want ( That is BS I try my hardest to make her happy and gets her what she wants.). So I say what do you want? Then she just tells me I dont know what I want. Honestly guys idk whats going on ive been a great boyfriend according to her friends. And my girlfriend still tells me she loves me. It hurts me and brings tears to my eyes to just think about our relationship ending. I kinda get the feeling that she wants to end the relationship. Im just not sure I love her to much to just let it all go. I just dont know what to do or say or even think. Please help me this is so stressful.

[eurocar]

It seems it's usually the women to initiate that whole oscillatory business of not "knowing" what they want. It annoys me to no end when there seems to be no reason of substance, but sometimes, people don't need a reason. She is clearly just not that happy with you, at the moment. You should probably ask her if she would like some time to think about it (i.e. some space) and back off for a week or so. Use that time to take a step back, gather yourself and see the forest for the trees. Trust me, it can really give you a whole new sense of perspective you never thought you had. Imagine taking a picture of something a few feet away from it, then stepping back and taking the same picture. A whole lot more "information" is going to be in the picture--and you can use that additional information to draw greater insight about your relationship. It will be hard, but it will be worth it. And if you really love her, you'll respect her and give her what she needs.

[Simply_Josh]

I dont know why she would be unhappy with me. Out of all the times these past two weeks shes gotten mad with me. Only one of thoes times was for a good reason. When I ask she always tells me what made her mad. All of the other times I really didnt do anything to make her mad at all and when I ask her what I did wrong she has no response.

[eurocar]

I dont know why she would be unhappy with me. Out of all the times these past two weeks shes gotten mad with me. Only one of thoes times was for a good reason. When I ask she always tells me what made her mad. All of the other times I really didnt do anything to make her mad at all and when I ask her what I did wrong she has no response.

 

There's nothing you can do in this situation but respect her wishes, and you should find out from her if those include time apart from each other to evaluate things.

[Simply_Josh]

ive tried asking her if what she wants is to take a break or w/e. And see still tells me she dosnt know what she wants. She wont give me a clear cutt anwser or anything.

[eurocar]

ive tried asking her if what she wants is to take a break or w/e. And see still tells me she dosnt know what she wants. She wont give me a clear cutt anwser or anything.

 

Then tell her to get back to you when she does and cut contact for a week or so. Sometimes, that will give her all the clarity she needs.

[Simply_Josh]

Cutting out contact for a week is really hard. Mainly b/c of the fact that she is in my class and I see her everywhere in school so its pretty much impossible not to talk 2 her. And even when shes mad at me she will call me during her lunch breaks at work.

[pryda]

The only advice I can give is to stay strong!

 

It sounds like you're somewhat 'in limbo', and this is the kind of situation where most of us become emotional wrecks; we sense that there is a problem and go into panic mode. In response to this, we become desperate and try too hard, and this normally catalyses the relationship finishing.

 

Have some confidence. If you feel like you're good for her, better than anyone else, then ACT that way. If she's having second thoughts about the relationship, then what she'll be doing at the moment is checking you very carefully, weighing up whether or not you are what she wants. If you pick this time to be clingy and worried, you'll be hastily making her mind up for her.

 

Just stay confident and try not to let her indecisiveness affect you. Let her know you're willing to make a big effort with the relationship, but also give her the impression that if she's not willing to do the same then you can quite easily find someone else who is.

[eurocar]

Cutting out contact for a week is really hard. Mainly b/c of the fact that she is in my class and I see her everywhere in school so its pretty much impossible not to talk 2 her. And even when shes mad at me she will call me during her lunch breaks at work.

 

I know it can be hard, especially so considering the circumstances, but like pryda said, you can't let her be in control. She clearly doesn't know what she wants and that has the potential to be very upsetting to you if you appease her every impulsive emotional oscillation and whim. You need to assert your value as a human being, that you do not deserve to be toyed with, and it's okay if she is questioning this relationship, but you don't want to be a part of that "question"; rather, you want to be a part of the answer. Perhaps cutting contact entirely would be excessively difficult in this case, but you need to distance yourself from this conflict she is facing. While she works it out, it only has the potential to be ruinous to the relationship if you're clingy and visibly upset. Let her know you're there for her but you want what she wants, and you only want to be with her if she wants to be with you (even if it isn't true). And then distance yourself a bit.

[amure]

i dont know how old you are, but it sounds like your young.

either way, when you get close to someone in such a short amount of time (yes 3/4 months is a short amount of time to be this close). you dont understand her behaviour patterns, like say someone who might have known her for 10 years. now you two are as close as someone who might have known her for that length of time, but neither can fit the roll, if you get what i mean?

 

 

if you wish to keep your girlfriend, you tell her what shes feeling.

and i can tell you right now shes most likley regretting getting so close to soon.

the rest is up to you.

good luck

[Simply_Josh]

If I were to distance myself how could I be sure to distance myself the right amount not to much or not to little?