Should I call and ask her what's up?

[nikesnlevis]

I don't think I can post links, but the stories in this section titled "cat and mouse".

 

We talked Friday night, I was, well drunk, and she hit me up online. I really don't remember much of the convo other than her telling me my cooking and sex was good We ended up on the phone, and again, I don't remember. We haven't talked since..and I still haven't gotten an answer on if she's coming at the end of the month or not.

It was HER idea, and I'd really like to know, as if she doesn't come I have other plans set forth. Should I call her and just ask flat out, if she plans on coming or not? Or just leave it alone, and see if she brings it up in the next week or so?

[JimmerJammer]

Well some things that come to mind are how you feel about her behaviour. You said she dumped you because she wanted to be with her family, etc. Yet you also said that she seemed to do drugs daily (at the time?) and that even though she dumped you that she was making all these comments and remarks like she was making light of the fact you two are broken up and that you took her seriously. Even saying things like she loves you and misses you. Says she'll make a trip out to see you, but not tell you any details about it?

 

Where are your feelings atm? The one thing to consider most of all is can you admit to her you care about her and want her to come out? then deal with her taking it back and saying she won't? As an example. Ultimately if somehow these plans are falling on you, I don't think it's unreasonable to want to know so you can prepare. The important thing to note is how she is behaving towards you and how you feel about it. If there are reservations you need to be honest with yourself. If she has been good and appears to be genuine about it, then it's up to you tell her how you feel about her coming down. If you truly want her there and whether she's serious about it. So while I don't think it's bad to ask her, I think it would be something best asked on a positive note.

 

cheers

[nikesnlevis]

I honestly don't know how I feel about her behavior, thus far. Sometimes I feel she's not being honest with herself, as to how she really feels, and sometimes I feel I'm not being honest with myself, with how she really does feel, if that makes sense.

She is random, that's fact, and she'll be the first to admit it. So her not making any concrete plans, really doesn't surprise me. She knows I want her to come out, I've told her this, recently. And she said she also wanted to come. My feelings are still up in the air, but I have accepted the fact we aren't together. And I'm not looking at her coming here is a way of me to "win her over", I genuinely just want to hang out, and show her a good time for her bday.

As far as asking on a positive note, she originally brought it up last Monday, while we were laughing and having a really good conversation. Our break up wasn't full of negative energy. I did tell her 3 weeks ago, that I loved her, wanted her to move back, and wanted to be with her. It was a wishy washy conversation, to which she said she just couldn't. I accepted it, and stopped contacting her. To which she started calling me everynight/every other. The push/pull effect I guess. I left my feelings there, and have been dealing with things day to day since.