celebray69 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 What do you guys think are the most important questions to ask when entering a long distance relationship? What would make you reconsider being in a LDR? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 -how often will contact be made -how often will you see each other -will you stay exclusive?open? -if you are open, what happens when you find another? The most important thing about LDR's is having a termination date to the LDR. there has to be a goal of when you will finally be together. Link to comment
Whiplash Girl Child Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 Where will you meet? Half way? Or will you alternate going to each other's place? Would certain circumstances prevent either of you from being the one to do the traveling (to the other person's place)? Would either of you be willing to move? Do certain factors make it impossible for either of you to move (e.g. enrolled in a university, taking care of a sick family member, etc.)? Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I've been in an LDR for the past 7 months or so, where I rarely ever see my bf. Only during Christmas and spring break. If you want any more detail on how to deal with it, feel free to PM or IM me. Link to comment
Taylor527 Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 My boyfriend and I were in a long distance relationship for a little bit before we moved in together. Boy was it hard, but we both made it really clear that we had plans for our future and this long distance was just temporary. We saved up money and found our own place together.. That was over a year ago and now we are happy as can be. You have to put everything on the table... what you both want from this relationship, are you going to be faithful? When are you going to see each other? Is this something that will be for a long time or something that is just temporary? Do you both love each other and want this relationship to work badly enough to go through with LDR? How often are you going to keep in contact? I'll tell you I really think it only worked with my boyfriend and I was because we truly didn't see the LDR as what it will always be but more of a temporary obstacle that we have to overcome. We consistently were talking about what we were going to do after the LDR. Link to comment
star-shaped Posted April 23, 2008 Share Posted April 23, 2008 I agree with what everyone else has said about knowing there will be an end to it at one point. Although my OH and I were long distace from the start, so it isn't like we began our relationship planning when we were going to move to be closer to ech other... but it was important for us to discuss anything which would definitely have prevented us from moving in the future. I would have reconsidered if I'd have known it wasn't going to be feasable for us to be living closer within a few years. But early on it is definitely important to discuss things like frequency of visits. Link to comment
rikka Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Wolf is correct. The MOST IMPORTANT questions to ask are : 1) Is one of you willing to relocate? 2) When? If you cannot answer these, the relationship will ultimately end. Quoted for emphasis and truth. I think Debaser Wolf's questions were good ones, especially frequency of visits and the logistics of the visits (whom travels where and when). Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Quoted for emphasis and truth. I think Debaser Wolf's questions were good ones, especially frequency of visits and the logistics of the visits (whom travels where and when). Well, I've just had experience with it. LDR's are pretty tricky. Link to comment
rikka Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Oh me too! We survived and are now happily together in the same city! YAY! Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 Oh me too! We survived and are now happily together in the same city! YAY! Yeah, hopefully just another year for us. (Transferring my Junior year of college) I have absolutely no support from my mother though....She has ALWAYS told me to break up with him and tells me that I am being stupid for transferring for a boy. Well....thing is, I CAN'T afford this school. Seriously, I can't owe 200,000 dollars once I graduate. Especially since I plan on going to Grad school directly afterwards. Also, I won't get to see my little sisters grow up if I stay 13 hours away. Even if me and my bf were to break up, I'd still transfer to the college I intend to. Link to comment
rikka Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 It is hard if you do not have the support around you. My friends and family were very supportive of the LDR - when I made plans to relocate.... not as much. They are all now, but in the beginning everyone had reasons why I shouldn't go. Oh the guilt trips. I think you have a level head Debaser_wolf. You have realistic expectations of your relationship and you have a plan for YOUR future (which happily includes plans to re-unite with your boy! ). I wish you all the success, I am sure you two will be fine! Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I think that in order for it to work one of you will have to eventually relocate. It has to be a goal involved-usually marriage. If its just to be with someone then that is not the key-it has to be based off love Link to comment
KAT MOMMY Posted April 24, 2008 Share Posted April 24, 2008 I think that in order for it to work one of you will have to eventually relocate. It has to be a goal involved-usually marriage. If its just to be with someone then that is not the key-it has to be based off love Link to comment
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