I need her.

[havefaith]

I don't know how to get through this without my best friend.

 

We were completely inseparable. I helped her through the hardest time in her life. She introduced me to the love of my life.

 

She never recovered from the break up that devastated her life. She jumped into a new and far worse and harmful relationship. She gave herself over to a very controlling and mean drug addict, she completely changed before my eyes and before I knew it I had enough. I didn't handle it in a very mature way but I was in a lot of pain...

 

I went away to school and simply ignored her, despite her attempts to talk to me, although she was completely different. I felt she was always competing with me and my relationship, I couldn't even talk to her without knowing he was going to hear every little word I said. He was desperate for her to be rid of me, just because I always empowered her.

 

Well now the guy she introduced me to 3 years ago and I are taking a break starting this summer. Still very much in love but we are only 20, are going abroad for part of the summer and just need to be sure if it's all real.

 

I never imagined I wouldn't have her by my side at home. I helped her through her hard time and now I won't even have her. We kind of attempted reconcile over AIM but she doesn't even seem to receptive to trying... I think she is so entangled in her toxic relationship. She is not happy and I know it.

 

Sad part is I don't even think the girl I miss is living in that body anymore. Part of me is so tempted to approach her one last time, one real time in an attempt to reconcile...

 

But then another part of me knows our "break up" was a long while in the making, and OUR relationship was becoming toxic. I really, really just want her back... the way we used to be.

 

What should I do? It's been an academic year and I am still crushed.

[Hope75]

Do you think realistically you can get back what you had with her?

 

Or will it be a 'new' relationship, full of stress and negative emotions because she is still with the guy?

 

I can understand missing a friendship that you once had... I miss a good friend of mine that I had to distance myself from as I felt I wasn't benefiting from the relationship anymore and the friendship was more stressful than enjoyable for me (and probably for her, too.)

 

I miss what we once were to each other, but I know even if I called her today, we couldn't get that back- too much time and bad blood has passed.

 

Think about it.

[havefaith]

Just wanted to say thanks, Hope. What you have to say really does represent the reality of the situation... for whatever reason, at random times it is hard for me to remember why I left.

 

I guess I have to remember I was driven to leave... and that's significant.

 

Still hurts.

[Hope75]

Yes, it does. I'm sure you loved your friend and you probably still do, in some way. I know I still think of my friend and care for her, even though we no longer talk or spend time together.

 

The truth is sometimes our lives just take different paths, and sometimes one of us makes a choice that the other one cannot live with or accept. My thought is that it should not be painful or stressful to be friends with someone.

 

I wish you the best.