no motivation today NC 7-8 days now

[Vulcan800]

Ok so Im on the new meds, the xanax and Effector seems to be doing well at keeping my anxiety and other stuff in check.

 

Im still thining about stuff. It has been 7-8 days NC whatsoever prob cause she is all tied up with her new guy or whatever she is doing.

 

The problem I am having now is finding motivation to do stuff. I actualy lost my job over this BS and need to get a new job. I see it asa new beginning in many aspects but the fact remains rightnow it sucks.

 

Anyways the motivation thing, Im having a hard time with getting myself to do what I need to do. I know I need to do things I just can't seem no matter how HARD I try to get things done its like I can get started on something and then after awhile I just can't go on and have to relax take a nap or whatever.

 

If I can get motivation back I would be ok I just can't seem to find the will or energy to get going. It really sucks.

 

I get mad at myself because I NEED to do this stuff yet I just can't bring myself to do what I need to damn it!

[george237]

You sound like you are depressed. Depression can be a very dangerous disease. If you are seeing a professional tell him about your lack of motovation and your sadness. If you are not seeing one SEE ONE. I have been seeing one for some time now, way before the breakup. It is the best thing in the world.

 

You have to accept that it is over for good and that is it. You are in your mid 30's not 70's you will find somebody else.

[maxo]

You might try a day or two without the meds. They might be hiding your grief but sapping your motivation.

 

Consider taking up a mindless hobby that requires your full attention (knitting- model building). Dale carnegie points out people who were under threat of death and torture (and broken hearts) who got through by keeping their mind and hands busy.

 

There is evidence that you must process the grief of a loss-- taking drugs postpones that grieving but you go through it when you drop the drugs.

 

I wallow in my grief (listening to sad country songs, etc) and try to burn through it. This last breakup was the worst I'd ever seen because it happened without any warning signs (Perfect happy joy -> omg, she's a skank who's been seeing 3-4 other guys once a month during the day since before she met me AND she now has met and fallen in love with #6 - a rich guy with a ranch). Despite this, after 150 days, I'm recovered. And I was suicidal and cutting my arms (never ever done that in my previous 3 breakups).

 

You will meet someone else- heck, at 30, you are ~12% likely to meet 3 more someone else's and have long fun times with them but things not work out and ~50% likely to find the one you marry and stay with the rest of your life with. Plus lots of fun check-marks in between ( the asian chick, the hot chick, the shy volcano chick, the rocknroll chick, the swinger chick, ... etc.) finding your soul-mate.

[Vulcan800]

I think the meds really make me sleepy and compounded by some depression. Hopefu;y after the weekend with some rest I will be a bit better

[george237]

Go talk to somebody. You sound like you can't handle it yourself. It will make you feel better

[Litgirl01]

I take my anti-depressant at night because it makes me tired! Some people take it in the morning...I couldn't! It's hard to have motivation after something shakes your world so much! xx

[tazthecat]

Vulcan, start small...Don't take on the world. Do laundry. House cleaning(it's amazing how therapuetic this), wash dishes, mow the lawn/shovel the lawn.

Go food shopping. Get an oil change. wash/clean your car out....believe me, these things get addicting once you get into it..

 

You have to give yourself a reason to be motiated. And that reason?? Because the alternative..is unthinkable!

 

Now add job searching to the list...Don't think about..Just do it.

[Litgirl01]

Yes Taz....good idea! Think of it like a filing cabinet...you can only look into one file at a time! Otherwise...you just get overwhelmed!

[tazthecat]

personally, after I got thrown to the wolves, and the numbness wore off, I went to the store and bought one off those mini notebooks. Then I wrote a to do list..It came out to a long list, thankfully, and I crossed off each thing I accomplished and that made it feel like an achievement..

Each achivement made me feel stronger inside, and took away the power the EX had over my situation...To this day, I still write my list, everyday, and I'm not satisfied until at least 75% of that list is acomplished..

[Litgirl01]

Good idea!