Arrrrrrghhh!!! Will I ever find someone?

[kevinm]

So, I just broke things off with my love interest today. Here's a recap on recent events:

 

Prior to March I felt things were okay. We were moving along, growing, etc. I went to visit her and her daughter and parents in another state. Long story short she tells me she is not feeling connected to me. Things just don't feel right. We have sex a few times, then I leave, she tells me she'll think about things and write me a letter. Okay, that was a month ago. I never get the letter over the course of 3 weeks. I finally pressure her to write me something. She agrees and sends a letter that basically says very little. She tells me she wants to get to know me better. She tells me she's got other things going on in her life. She tells me she would like it if I would move accross the country to casually date her, and that we would be free to date others too. (Now keep in mind that I plan to be moving anyway, but I probably wouldn't move in her area if not for her.) She tells me she wants us to spend a year getting to know each other.

 

I write back that I generally agree with everything she said except for the dating other people part. I tell her that if I were to relocate in her area that I'd do so to date her, not her and the other women of the area. I tell her that I need at least the commitment that we will be exclusive with each other if we are to give this relationship a new chance.

 

We talk today and basically the whole dating other people thing becomes an impass. Neither of us is willing to budge. So I suggest we just call things off. To which she replies that maybe she'll feel differently once she gets back home (she's currently at her folks place for the winter) and that she felt pressured to write this letter to me telling me how she feels. I told her that I didn't want to pressure her into writing the letter, but that she had told me she was going to for weeks and never did. I told her she hadn't been making me/us a priority in her life and that felt wrong to me.

 

At the end of our conversation I just told her to think about my letter. Think about the things I said. I told her that I would not contact her again unless she were to contact me. We said goodbye and hung up the phone.

 

One part of me is deeply saddened that it's over. But another part of me knows if we are to reconcile these differences we have that I must let her go. I still want to work things out with her, but I feel she needs time to get her stuff together. I can't help but feel however, that I did something wrong... and that fact nags on me. Wondering if I made a mistake.

 

-Kevin

[jfire35s]

DOnt blame yourself...that will only compound to your saddness.

 

If she needs the space then be strong and give her the space with the hope that the relationship can turn around and start anew. The hardest part is playing the waiting game..sitting there wondering everything about her.

 

Im at that stage right now and the best advice I could give you man is stay strong, occupy yourself, and dont contact her. Dont be afraid if you just have a bad wave and just break down crying. Its happened to me and I have never cried over a girl and im 6'3" 230 pounds!!!

 

We are here for you bro and we can get through it together....I hope the best for you.

[Litgirl01]

Sorry about the turn of events! And...OF COURSE you will find someone silly!