I was having a not so good moment!

[kym1176]

The other night I was having a not so good night. I found myself hating for the night time to come because it reminds me that I have no one to lay next to at night, hold me, comfort me just to feel a warm body there was comfort for me. So, so far we have been very cordial to each other, not fussing, arguing or anything. Just like old friends. But when this time of night comes I want to call him and ask him to come over to "keep me company". He would tell me it wasn't a good idea and I would usually agree then we'd hang up and I'll go to sleep after crying and asking myself and God "why is this happening, why is my life ending up like this"?? This is suposse to be my husband and we're suposse to be together forever..right? Well, I usually don't get any answers from those questions which leads me to fell extremely lonely! I hate feeling like this. Lately, I've been telling myself-the fastest way to get over a relationship is to get into another one and let that one takes it's place-. So far that idea has been working okay. Just gotta find that somene to takes it place.

 

~now i'm just venting a bit and thinking out loud~

 

I found myself feeling that I still do love my husband very much. I hate the way he treats me with total disrepect. This, by sleeping with at least four different women that I know of. Now that the kids and I have moved out and we have our own place now, I feel a sense of relief. And don't see us together in the near future. Sometimes I find myself doubting my decision to leave...because of the girls. They love him so much and I can tell they miss him and he misses them. I really hated to have to make the choice I did but felt I had to, to regain my sanity and peace of mind. Some days I'm confused and others I think I couldn't have made a wiser desicion. What is going on with me??

 

Okay, I'm going to stop here because I could go on and on about this subject.

 

Later,

 

k,

[big greg]

It's totally unrelative to your situation, but I have that same feeling of loneliness at night. I just pretend one of my pillows is somebody, and cuddle with that. If you take an ambien, you will be knocked out before you even have time to think about being lonely!

[kym1176]

Yeah, I don't have ambien I thought about going to my doctor to get some though. I have had the "sleepytime tea" it I guess it does about the same thing an ambien would do.

[big greg]

Look into melatonin. It's a hormone pill, and it's OTC and works just as good as ambien at getting you to fall asleep, but won't help you sleep as long as ambien will. i.e. you will fall asleep easy but might wake up during the night.

[Owk]

I know exactly what you mean. The evenings and the mornings were the best moments for me with my ex. Tonight will my first night alone and I'm already dreading for it. I wish I had a reason to be angry at my ex for so I could think of that when going to bed but I dont... We broke up on good terms and cuddled and kissed until she left. If I were you I'd try to remember what he did to you and tell yourself you are better off without him. But I'm no expert so it might be completely wrong.