She's happy after breaking my heart?

[cobro]

I have a question. It's been about 2 weeks since my gf broke up with me. I've been strong, haven't contacted her. In fact I find myself not thinking about 24/7 like I did when we broke up before. Overall I feel like I have been moving on. She called me last week and was acting happy and like her life was great and she was accomplishing things, etc...Honestly it made me mad, like I was the reason she was unhappy, when in fact it was her who was not ready for a relationship. Why would she do this, call and rub it in that her life is great? I don't think she did it on purpose, but still the fact that she called after I told her I didn't want to talk to her until I was ready shows she is selfish. Has this happened to anyone else and what did you do. I don't plan on answering my phone anymore, if she has no need for me in her life, I have no need for her!

[mahlina]

Her contacting you to tell you that everything's going well for her is called 'sugarcoating'.

 

Why would she need to call you to tell you that her life is going great. If it was truly going so well, then she wouldn't stop to really think, "Gee, my life is spectacular, I need to tell so and so!" What is there to prove right?

 

I think that she's probably hurting as much as you are. She probably called because she wants to keep things with you at a peaceful level. She doesn't want any resentment between the two of you.

 

You need to again, make it clear to her that you don't want her to call you.

 

Meanwhile, I know it sucks to have your heart broken, but try doing more positive things. It will hurt for a while, but the pain will fade, especially if the ex is not around.

[cobro]

I don't know if she's really hurting right now, she is a very proud person and would hate to admit she was wrong. The feeling I get is that she is truly happy right now, it's the first time she's been single in a long time. Its probably a new refreshing feeling for her, plus she wanted to do her own thing. I wonder if she will come back down to reality and feel stupid about losing me? Not because I want her back, but the satisfaction of knowing that she regretted things would be enough for me. She did this before, so whose to say she won't do it again.

[The Morrigan]

It can also be a less confrontational way of justification if she feels at all guilty, "see, I did the right thing!" not as insulting as badmouthing you, but reassuring herself she knew what she was doing. And that fits with the pride thing as well.

 

I agree with you it's pretty selfish and insensitive after telling her you wanted no contact until you were ready, if she calls again and you're unlucky enough to answer, keep your cool as much as possible and just tell her "Look, nice to know you're doing so well, but I told you I wasn't ready to talk to you like this, you hurt me, please have the decency to give me the privacy and space I asked for to get past this." That should get the point accross without sounding too emotional or bitter (even if you'd rather tell her to g to the devil

[caliboy]

broke up for the second time? i'd be pissed too. seems like she's making this easy for you, cause now you know you don't want to be with this girl. she's got issues and she's trying to drag you down with them. i think the reasons why she's calling you is so she doesn't feel guilty (ie. by being nice on the phone) and to make sure you're still there waiting for her. it's good you're being strong. she'll soon realize that you're not just going to be there for her all the time, cause you're tired of her shit. i'd understand giving things a second try, but after that, it's too emotionally draining. plus, someone who truly loves you wouldn't break your heart a second time. i know you care for her deep down, but she's got problems that you or no guy would want to deal with. tell her what the last post said to say and then ignore her if she continues. find a normal girl. good luck man.

[BLUEYED990]

She called with the intention of boasting, on purpose, in an attempt to make you feel like shit. Why? Because, she's annoyed - she's not getting the "reaction" from you that was anticipated or expected. As you know, we all like the feeling of being sought after/desired. And, even though she broke off the relationship {btw: for what reason} she thought if you really cared about her and/or missed her in any way you would be playing cat and mouse and/or trying to win her back. And, much to her dismay, you seem to be fine on your own. That's what annoys her. That's why she wanted to call YOU - to let you know that she's made the right decision and/or is happier than a clam. Actually, trust me, this means the exact opposite. She's actually feeling quite sad, lonely, and miserable - maybe even questioning why she ended the relationship. But, because you havent made contact with her or tried to, her ego is bruised which in turn, plays into her self esteem. She's thinking maybe you didnt' care as much as she thought you did -- that's why you've chosen to walk away without a care in the world -- without fighting for her to come back - yes, especially because she dumped you. {You're supposed to be devastated and unable to function without her. She's thinking MAYBE you're happier now .. without her -- after all.

[bdub]

Keep it up. She messed up and she knows it. She wants you back in her life. Don't fall into the trap. If you want to be back with her, let her come back to you. Don't talk about the relationship unless she wants to. Be strong and independent. Don't show her the pain. Its what she wants to see.

 

Best Wishes,

bdub