Accepting what happened...

[Michael2]

Thanks for taking the time.

 

I have posted here previosuly in regards to a rough breakup with my girlfriend.

 

A quick recap. We were both going through difficult times, her 13 year old sister had passed away a few months previously, we were stressing due to our long distance relationship, and as a result we broke up. After the breakup , she met someone else and was intimate with him( She claims she was extremely drunk and that it was a HUGE mistake, this all happened two weeks after we broke up).

 

Fast forward three months, we are both back together, we still love eachother greatly, and we are trying to work on our relationship.

 

The problem is, I can not get over what happened with her and the other guy after we broke up. I am constantly thinking and dwelling over what happened with them, and honestly, it seems to be taking over my everyday activities.

 

Has anyone been through this, and if so how were they able to deal with it.

 

Thanks!

[giggirl]

michael,

 

I know exactly what your going through, and believe me you'll probably

end up getting over the fact that she was with someone else,

what you can do is learn to trust her again, because if you dont

every time your fighting you'll probably end up bringing it up, and

that's definitly not what you want to do. It seems to me she really cares

about you because she didn't have to tell you the truth in the first place

and believe me that's really hard to do.Just try and focus on the future not the past, and try not to bring it up to her because I'm sure she feels

really guilty as it is. She was probably with people before you and you

just have to get past it that she was with someone after. I know it's

hard. I myself couldnt get past my boyfriend cheating, but time does heal

all wounds and if you truly love her you should be able to get past it.

Like I said just try and focus on how you can better your relationship now.

But if your feelings persist dont hold them in just tell her how it still hurts

you, try not to be hostile or blame her just tell her what your feeling. Well I hope this helps you, good luck getting past it.

[crookster_man]

You must learn to forgive her. Let the anger go, it serves no purpose and only hurts your relationship. Soon it will the cause of another breakup. This one could be the last.

 

You must understand that her actions were not meant to hurt you. This isn't personal, in fact she probably wasn't thinking about hurting you or how this would make you feel. People do things to make them happy. At the time she was drunk and probably very lonely, in that state she found something to make her happy. It had nothing to do with you, don't forget that.

 

Let go of the anger and understand that her action has no bearing on the future of your relationship. I know it hurts and you feel like the betrayed you or didn't grieve long enough (whatever is going through your head). However, understand that it wasn't personal. Forgive her and move on or break it off now. This is my advice, my warning.

 

goodluck, we will be here for you

[Michael2]

Thanks for the advice!!!