Making Conversation with a Girl I rarely talk to

[monkeyman]

There is this girl at my school who I like, again. I liked her last year, and asked her out about a year ago. She said no, but I think it was because I asked too soon. I just didn't talk to her enough. This time I want to do it right.

 

We both participated in Sailing this fall, after school. I sometimes talked to her then. By sometimes, I mean rarely, but sometimes. I'm really shy, and I get nervous approaching girls who have friends with them, which she did. Anyway, not sailing is over, and the only time I ever see her is whenever we pass each other in the hallways. She's usually with friends then too, but not always. I used to take the bus home from school, and that's where I would talk to her last year. But she doesn't take the bus very often, and I only have ince this whole year. My friend drives me home this year.

 

So basically, I never see her. I wouldn't feel comfortable walking into her class's hallway during break, and just sitting down and talking to her. I'm way too shy for that. All I can think to do is say Hi to her when she passes.

 

What do you suggest that I do? And what kinds of stuff should I say?

[Crazy8]

I think its really cute that you have a crush on this girl, and I think its even cuter that you're shy. I used to be the same way, I never knew what to say to guys, everytime someone would try to talk to me, my face would turn really red. Anyways, it might be cute now, but being shy could deprive you of accomplishing a lot of things in your life. maybe this girl won't want to go out with you if you ask, but do you want to live the rest of your life not knowing what would have happened if you would have tried? You never know. I wish you the best, and hope that your shyness wont keep you from reaching goals in your life, the way it did me. Good luck

[Anamarie89]

Wow. This problem is so common. I mean, I honestly wish everybody (including me) would stop being so crazy about being shy.

I mean, whats the worst that can happen? I always ask myself that, and it is always um.... nothin.... but i can never do anything. so, basically, i have th eexact same prob as you, only at this point i've become so frustrated with myself that i'm always mentally telling myself to talk louder, talk faster, butt into conversations... all the things that i was so scared of before. and its working well, but MAN is it hard!

 

so i can't really give you any advice except specifically regarding your post.

 

1) Her having friends there is BETTER. Do you seriously think it would be easy to talk to her if it was just you two? awkward silences would be inescapable.

2) topics to talk about? ANYTHING. I mean that. Teachers, classes, people, the news, the freaking WEATHER i you have to. get her to laugh, smile, and then at the soonest possible time, say "i gotta go!" and then go. don't drag the conversation out.

[martinbishop]

Well besides the advice these other people have offered I'd say there is one major flaw here. You dont see her a lot. Frankly you don't talk to her either.

Relationships are built on mutual likes and dislikes, commonalities and attraction. Your best in is to be her friend first and foremost. I was exactly like you in high school and I wish I could go back and slap myself around a little. How can you expect this girl to go for you when she don't really even know you that well anymore.

 

If I were you and you really want to pursue this girl I'd find out what activities, hobbies, extra curricular things shes into and I'd get into those things myself. If your friends with one of her friends thats an easy in so hang out witht he friend a lot and maybe work your way into the group.

[monkeyman]

Thanks for your help guys. I have an idea now of how to talk to her. Does anybody else have any input? I could use all the help I can get!