pubs and bars?

[thehaunted123]

Okay, me and my friends are going out on sunday night to a bar... lots of girls there blah blah, my friends dont have any problem getting girls and stuff, but they arent shy, I am, I could probably over come that though, but I don't know how to go about even talking to girls or whatever...thats what I find hard.

 

(It might help that bit more if someone from the UK answers it, as UK pubs might be different from Americans? but answer anyway )

 

Thanks to anyone who replies

[russia]

ok. here's the bad news first. nothing is going to happen when you go to pubs with that loser attitude.

 

girls go for confidence. even if you are shy, you have to show that you are not shy, just the quiet sort. but think she's something special and so make the effort to contact her.

 

how do you build confidence and fight shyness? by thickening your skin. some girls are going to like you, many are going to reject you. if you start with that in mind, your odds for success already improve. if you continue to be afraid of rejection, then skip the rest of this msg

 

ready for rejection? the thing is, it's personal, so don't take it too deep. look at it this way. the girl is a stranger, you're a stranger, so if you approach her and it doesn't work out, it's not like you lost a job or family member. ok? shrug it off and get to work on the next girl. you might want to do a bit of retrospective and see where you went wrong. sometimes, you didn't do anything wrong, she's just not interested. but if you have body odor or bad breath and you didn't do anything about it, then no one can help you get the girls.

 

once you present yourself well, next, behave well. checking out the girls is not a problem, but don't keep checking them. you have to zoom in on a couple. make eye contact. if the girl looks back, give a nice warm smile. practise this in front of mirror and friends where possible. don't do dracula on fright night.

 

if she smiles back, keep eye contact, and if she doesn't flinch, you can start to move in. the chatting bit is up to you. keep it clean, keep it balanced. don't hog and don't clam up either. so have a few current topics available. music, movies, studies, interests (not i like to watch tv the whole day, sporty stuff is quite safe, like tennis or swimming. yeah, esp swimming!).

 

last but not least, never ever forget to get her number. if you don't, you'll never get a date. and always call her back the next day. otherwise, she'd have forgotten who you are.

[sisterlynch]

I really think that going to pubs or bars to meet others if you are shy is a bad idea. If it hasn't worked for you in the past, why should it work now?

 

Outgoing people go to bars with quite shy people to make themselves appear popular and to give them an audience.

 

Shy people should not allow themselves to be used like this. Find a great girl and stay home with her where those roaming romeos can't get attracted to her, and shag her when you aren't looking.

 

Watch the show Couplings, how well do the two quiet guys do in the pub vs the outgoing handsome guy? Don't those two have to suffer with his 'extra' girl friends to a certain extent?

 

Find a place where you feel comfortable and confident and look for women there.

[thehaunted123]

Yeah I realise not every girl is going to like me, I can live with that and rejection by thinking what you just said to me there..

 

The bad breath and odor arent a problem, I'm clean and I take my time to dress well so I guess presenting myself isnt a problem, just actually talking to them and what I said above.. But it's still worth the try I would say.

 

The going to pubs or bars to meet others is the only other way I have, I've tried everywhere else really with no luck, and my friends seem to be able to do it no problem so I might as well try.

 

Thanks for the tips and all, I'll see how it goes, hopefully something works out

[Gamera25]

I'd have to agree with Sisterlynch on this one. Bars and pubs really aren't the best places to meet nice women (at least here in the US they aren't). Most women you see at bars are just there to hang out with friends and have a good time. While there are some who are looking, many aren't even interested in meeting anyone.

[sisterlynch]

I wonder if the pubs in Europe are more family oriented, like a good place to meet up with people and unwind after a long day. I wish that we had that sort of an open society here.