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Hurt confused not trusting

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My husband and I have been together for almost 12 yrs. now. This is both our second marriage. He has one child by his first and I have 2 by mine. They are all on their own now. When we were first moved in together I found a tape of his first wife. Then down the road I found him satifying himself not once but a few times. He has a problem in the bed room. I think it is due to age( not sure). He went on line and was talking to a few women and one had his work address and he talked to her there too. I found out when he sent her a valentines day card over the net. He swore he wouldn't do it again. Now he looks a pictures on the net. I simply cannot trust him. I told him when we were first together that that word trust was number 1 to me because I feel it is very important in keeping a realtionship going. Someone please help me I am so hurt . I don't know what to do. Night before last I found that he was looking at pictures while I was asleep upstairs. He denied it at first then realized he got caught. I didn't feel like talking to him. He came upstairs and asked me if I was going to not speak to him and I said yes I don't like sneaks. He went downstairs and he slept there the entire night. Am I wrong here or what. I know it makes me feel like less a woman. I feel inadequate. All's I want to do is cry. I need some sound advice.

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Ok I don't really know what to say, but my only advice would be to work on him. Help him out, I cant say what is going though in his mind, but im guessing he is not getting satisfied by you, sorry for saying and he is find other ways to keep him self going., looking at pictures is a normal thing ya it hurts us woman but that's just them, eben doing things to them self. Its all normal all men do it. that does not mean they love you any less its just a turn on cos of the way the pictures are taken,


About this gal on line maybe she is chatting dirty to him but don't take this bad, In other words see it as she has helped you. For example. Why not do or try something different your self.


One night dress sexy, act sexy give him all the attention and do your stuff. I know this is hard and prob embarrassing but act like a porn start for a night., trust me a few shots of alcohol prob will help you do this hope this helps good luck

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I am so sorry to hear of this, and can sympathize with you very much. How awful you must feel. It sounds to me like he probably feels like he cannot satisfy you, or maybe has grown bored in the bedroom so he looks for other outlets that are safer and that do not pose a threat of rejection. I hate to speculate his age but you mentioned he is older, could he possibly need to visit the doctor to see about some medical help? I know there are lots of products out there to help when things start going downhill in the sex department.... why not mention this to him and support him in going to the dr. with him, offering to make an appointment, etc. and tell him not to be embarrassed and that you will stand behind him 100%, that you love him, you married him intending to stick with him through the good and the bad, etc. etc.... to let him just feel more comfortable about the situation. I have a very strong feeling that he feels very alone and is reaching out for attention. You definitely need to ask him questions about why he is acting this way, and then make a decision for yourself if he does not respond to your help. Definitely tell him how you feel about him (how much you love him, cite his positive attributes more and spend a lot of time re-kindling your marriage by making dates and sticking to them. I think you have a lot of work ahead of you but if you still are in love with this man, you need to do it. Good luck...


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