Can't Get Him Out of My Mind

[bobsiesprincess]

How do you guys forget about things -even briefly? Nothing can stop me thinking about things, everything reminds me of him. I try to keep busy seeing friends, reading, going to the gym etc but it doesnt work at all. At night I dream about him, theres just no escape

[Desiderata]

Sometimes there really is no escape and you just have to let yourself feel whatever you need to feel - that is truly how you grow. When you can think about him eventually and not want to cry, breakdown, or get angry then you will know how far you've come. To distract myself even for a little bit I just do the things I would normally end up doing in my day because I cannot stop myself from living in order to think about him. I go about my day and if I happen to think about him then I do. Since this is such a big, traumatic event in your life and he was very important to you, it's just good to know that you can still feel strongly about someone and even want to think about him.

 

Just know that it will keep getting better - you won't want to think of him as much as you keep healing, but that thoughts will keep popping up no matter what. Just do what you do best, just keep living your life even if every event makes you think about him - eventually they won't because you will have done so many things over and over again on your own that it will feel like a new routine. Or if you go out and do things that you just want or need, it will be good for you - because who doesn't always want to do things just for themselves and just great overall because you'll know what it feels like to have the satisfaction of doing something by yourself and for yourself.

[Cuppedia]

Hello, you can plan times to think about him, say for two hour every day, and try to stick to it, whenever he appears in your head just remind yourself you will get to it later.

 

The first months after a break-up are very difficult but you will feel better. Give yourself time.

[fr0st]

Im with you here, I just wish I could forget... But I suppose life goes on.

[Fen]

I hear ya princess... It is confusing and maddening. At the same time I wish I could just forget her and move on but at the same time I cherish our memories so much it just makes me love and miss her all the more.

 

Not a single day goes by that I don't ask myself what I did to deserve the cruel twist of faith which left me lost, alone and frightened.

[Beginningandend]

The best way I can think to describe it is in the physical.

 

You ARE wounded, but you will heal. In time the wound will close and the pain from it will be gone. Depending on how deep the wound it may take longer and may leave a scar(memory) but it will heal. Give it time, the pain will start to decrease.

 

If you really care deeply for someone I don't think you ever forget them, but like a lost loved one you can't stay at the grave. Take the time to grieve, but you have to keep going.

[LostInTransition]

I'm sorry to say that she will remain in your thoughts for a long time. It's been 4 months NC for me and I still think about all the things that happened every day. I understand what you're going through right now because I went over it also: my life was taking place accross a filter, and this filter were all the thoughts about her and what had happened, all the pain I had. So I could hardly carry on with my ordinary life, and those things I HAD to do were always done accross those thoughts that were permanently within me. I could hardly sleep and dreamt about it every single day. My health started to resent and I thought I'd become mad in brief, if I hadn't already.

But one day, I can't remember when and why, those thoughts were less intense. They were still there, in fact, they are still here with me many months after, but they didn't occupy 99% of my brain, they didn't hurt as much, they didn't block me in what I had to do as they had done before.

I imagine this is just the healing process... or maybe I ended up getting used to those thoughts being with me. Hopefully the next step will be reaching the day I don't remember any more. When? Who knows... this things seem to just take place without being able to predict when.

Good luck. Take it easy and again, just let time do the rest. YOU WILL BE BETTER. Believe me.

[bubblyblonde11]

Get as busy as you can with other things, make some great plans for your evening and weekends, soon you won't have as much time to think about him and will get out of the habit.