"Can you be TOO nice?"

[Jeffrey19]

Hello people,

I was just talking with a buddy of mine the other day about my girlfriend-less situation and he tells me; "well I think your too nice to girls, you always apologize for doing the tiniest things man!"

 

He says girls don't like it when guys apologize for every little thing they do(I'm guilty of this) and they like a guy who's not such a siccy...

 

I think he might have a point in that statement, because for one I know my mom is always apologizing for every little thing that she often doesn't need to even apologize for and it bugs me a fair bit when she does.

 

What do you all think? Did my friend hit the nail on the head with that comment?

 

Thanks

[Cid]

Humm..... this is a hard one. But I must go on. Well there might be a problem if you apologize for nothing, I can see how that could get on peoples nerves. This is about all that I can say at this point at time.

[Mickey Pie]

I think he made a pretty accurate assessment. Apologizing is a good way to show you aren't too proud to admit you've done something wrong, but if you apologize for lame things, things you haven't done, or even worse, things she's done; she will own you, she will know she owns you, and you might end up getting hurt in the end.

 

I read this topic just a few minutes ago, and it's probably some of the best advice on how to not be a sissy, but at the same time, not be an overbearing jerk, either.

 

link removed

[just_smile]

hey

well since only guys have replied to your post at the moment i thought that i ( being a girl and all ) should reply, ok the nice thing: i like it when guys are nice, but apologising for everything that may become a lil annoying and a lil O.T.T. but only if you didnt do the thing that you are apologising for, if you did then, fine, apologise, it a good thing.

anways that it from me

hope this helps

~ LJ

[rcvrm]

I do think you can be too nice, but i also think that you have to be really nice about how you do things, now that i have made no point, let me explane.

 

Being to nice just might be saying sorry to much, or allways giving them something, also you might anoy them by allways being around.

 

At the same time, you have to be nice or thay will think your a jerk. and from my exp. presants can be good, when used sparingly (i don't know if i spelled that right).

 

I think you should try not to say sorry so much and just have fun being around them. and never say sorry for telling the truth about a girl.

 

best of luck to you.

[OmegaMan]

Here's what I think about being nice. I think you have to aware that you are being nice for reason. The question is, which reason would that be? Because, when you think about it, you don't actually HAVE TO be nice to other people, that's just something you decided to do yourself.

 

If you're being nice and saying sorry all over the time because you do feel it's your fault, I see no wrong in that.

 

But if you are being nice just so everyone likes you, i don't think that's a good idea. It's hard to accept but nobody can please everyone. We all have someone we dislike just because he is what he is, and that is our right, freedom of thoughts, freedom of speech.

 

What I'm basically saying is, give you the right to be who you are. It's gonna annoy some, disturb some but that's their problem, not yours.

 

I don't really believe in excessive kindness anymore. I think it's just some easy way to get people to like you without being yourself (I'm not talking about you you, I mean in the general sense of the term). I say be yourself, and if they don't like it, screw them. Their intolerance of difference is their problem, not yours. Intolerance of others led to some of humanities worst disasters, so I say be yourself, if that means saying your sorry for everything, fine. If this gets on their nerves, well too bad for them, they just have to deal with it or look for someone who's perfect.

Nobody is, 

and I would be damn if someone came up to me and said:

Hey, speak slower, it gets on my nerves. If you don't I will not get to know you.

 

To sum it up, be yourself. If some things you do, gets on your nerves, then you're welcome to change it. [list=]But please, don't it just because someone tells you to

They have no right to impose their freedom over yours.

 

Yours,

 

Omega