still love my ex wife

[imlookinback]

we have been apart for months now. she has a new boyfriend, which of course makes me sick to my stomach. i do know that they have some issues. he is very jealous and is becoming controlling and called her a bad name, something i never did. tells her how to dress and not to dress. plenty of women can relate to this i am sure. we have a kid together who we both love more then anything. i want more then anything to be back with my ex. i have dated and realized i will never be happy with someone else. i do not want anyone else to help raise my kid either, except her mom. i cannot tell her that i know the new guy said some things to her and is controlling. she would then know that i have been, well, kinda spying. i know its wrong, but i need to make sure she and our kid are ok. plus i am looking for some kind of IN back into her life.

 

i have agonized over losing her for months now. i have looked within myself and i have changed many things about me, but i do not want to have the new me with another woman. it is only meaning full to me if i can show my ex i have changed and need her and will concentrate on her and our kid only. i was depressed for months, but got help. and i feel better about me and the mistakes i made with her. but the only thing that will make all this pain and tearning worth anything is if i can win her heart back. i have written letters, hell, i even called and begged because i am so lost without her and our kid. i need them both to be with me. is that weak?? maybe, but i know i will not be happy with anyone else. i have never loved anyone like this and never will again. we have gotten along better lately, via email and i always hope that she will see the difference just in the emails and maybe i was telling the truth when i told her i can be a better father and husband. with the new relationship a little shakey, i want to go in for the kill and do what i can to get her back. but i do not know how to do it. deep inside i know she will say know, but i would hope she would realize that i never cursed at her, never tried to control her etc.

 

i know most will say move on, and i have tried since january, and it is not working. she is the one i need to be with and i do not want to be with someone else because i will only be using them and that is not right. any ideas???????

[Princess777]

Hello lookin back,

Sorry you are having these feelings and there's not much you can do about them. I wouldn't say to "move on" to another relationship just yet. Rather, give yourself time to grieve and become whole again. You miss them terribly and I doubt she realizes how much. It is unfortunate that she is in a rocky relationship but all you can really do is tell her how much you care for her and the child and that you're not happy with anyone else. I don't know the reason for your breakup and that would have a lot of bearing on my advice to you. I hope you get back together if it's what you both really want. Be honest and open with her and if she appreciates and notices it, she may ask you to come back. You can only be the best person you can be, for yourself.

Princess777

[imlookinback]

I have grieved for almost a year and the feelings for her are the same if not stronger. I need her in my life and not as an X. The worst part is she does not feel the same, but I know if she gave me a chance I could make her happy because now I know what it takes to make someone else happy. and if I am not with her, I will never be truly happy.