we have been apart for months now. she has a new boyfriend, which of course makes me sick to my stomach. i do know that they have some issues. he is very jealous and is becoming controlling and called her a bad name, something i never did. tells her how to dress and not to dress. plenty of women can relate to this i am sure. we have a kid together who we both love more then anything. i want more then anything to be back with my ex. i have dated and realized i will never be happy with someone else. i do not want anyone else to help raise my kid either, except her mom. i cannot tell her that i know the new guy said some things to her and is controlling. she would then know that i have been, well, kinda spying. i know its wrong, but i need to make sure she and our kid are ok. plus i am looking for some kind of IN back into her life.
i have agonized over losing her for months now. i have looked within myself and i have changed many things about me, but i do not want to have the new me with another woman. it is only meaning full to me if i can show my ex i have changed and need her and will concentrate on her and our kid only. i was depressed for months, but got help. and i feel better about me and the mistakes i made with her. but the only thing that will make all this pain and tearning worth anything is if i can win her heart back. i have written letters, hell, i even called and begged because i am so lost without her and our kid. i need them both to be with me. is that weak?? maybe, but i know i will not be happy with anyone else. i have never loved anyone like this and never will again. we have gotten along better lately, via email and i always hope that she will see the difference just in the emails and maybe i was telling the truth when i told her i can be a better father and husband. with the new relationship a little shakey, i want to go in for the kill and do what i can to get her back. but i do not know how to do it. deep inside i know she will say know, but i would hope she would realize that i never cursed at her, never tried to control her etc.
i know most will say move on, and i have tried since january, and it is not working. she is the one i need to be with and i do not want to be with someone else because i will only be using them and that is not right. any ideas???????
