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what does he want?


unsureperson
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I was seeing a older man for 8 months I went on holiday with him and he 2 boys and we seemed to be getting on well, we had been back for 1 week when I started noticing that he wasnt happy, so I confronted him and sure enough I was right. He still wanted to be friends but I wanted much more than that thinking that we could sort it out, but he pride was hurt and he dosnt know what he want. Its been a month since we split up, but we are friends and I have been out with him as a friend too, but on a few occasions when I have been out with him around at his house, he has made suggestive comments and gestures. I wish I new what he was thinking. I have been trying not to building up any hopes on us getting back together but when something like recent happenings have occurred I get confused and wonder should i make a move. I have been quite strong in saying NO to him although its very tempting. Can anyone advise?

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Hi UnsurePerson,

 

Welcome to the forum

 

Firstly, you are right to not get involved with him right now. The minute you start giving him what he is getting IN the relationship without actually being in it, then he doesn't need the relationship anymore.

 

You need to decide what you want here. That is the solution. Decide whether you really want to stay with him or not. Once you have done that, you will arrive at one of two points. One, you don't want to get with him and you split. Two, you do want him, and you must let him know abuot how you are feeling right now. Being friends is great, but I suspect you want more. Be honest with him, but let him know that you are having issues with the present arrangement since the holiday, and you are unsure about what exactly his position is in all of this.

 

This conversation should get you the answers you are looking for now, and also get this situation moving forward as soon as possible for you.

 

Hope this helps you some,

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