Help! Women say i am a special guy, can’t take it

[Shyguy24]

Hi I am a genuinely nice guy who is upfront about things , but I keep finding girls who keep commenting ure a very special guy and ull find a special girl …

 

Hey I want a normal girl ….what they mean by a special girl ..someones whose mentally retarded or something..lol

 

I don't think being a nice guy is helping me out …I mean all the jerks are running around with the girls and they don't even care about them … I keep getting calls from my friends x gf …why dosent he call me and how can he be like that…I mean if the guys a jerk U WENT OUT WITH HIM …SO DEAL WITH IT .

 

I mean when I asked her out she went out but became like more my friend and the nice guy thing started off …HEY I cant help it if I am soft hearted

 

Maybe its time to go over to the Dark side or become gay or something …lol.

 

I MEAN I AM A NORMAL GUY WHO HAS BEEN TOLD THAT HE IS CUTE AND BLAH BLAH ..then why don't I get to go out with normal women and end up making good friends with them INSTEAD

 

I MEAN SURE OKAY U SAY I AM NICE ..THANKS ..SO GO OUT WITH ME

 

U SAY HEY U HAVE A GOOD SENSE OF HUMOR AND U DRESS SMART ..ULL GET A NICE GIRL ..AND I AM

LIKE WHY U THINK URE A WITCH OR SMTHING ..GO OUT WITH ME …I WONT BITE PROMISE

 

I THINK BEING A NICE GUY IS CRAP …ITS LIKE I AM ALWAYS DOING THE RIGHT THING ….

 

AND NEVER GETTING WHAT I WANT …TO GO OUT AND HAVE A GOOD TIME WITH MY GIRL FRIEND NOT SOME GIRL WHOSE CONFIDING IN ME LIKE I AM HER GIRLFRIEND ..LOL

[misscitygrl]

See maybe thats the prob... guys come and go but a friend is 4ever... and girls might be taking that to seriously...out of hand

 

it is like we are afraid to hurt a good guy .....cause how can u hurt a good guy ... that would go aganist very single one of our principles... since we know a good guy is hard to find. So we rather not go there and be responsible for hurting u if things don't work out. It's just too much pressure to date u ...

 

i suggest being a good guy in disguise. I know being a good guy (gg from now on) is a great thing but maybe u should keep that to urself; on the down low. Don't tell no one... just meet a girl and be urself but don't tell them stories where ur gg persona might be apparent.... how u treat her will be more than enough to let them know that ur a guy worth getting to know. Be a regular guy...remember we dont want a superman, do no wrong man... we, like u, want a REGULAR person... of course with gg qualities... try to find a balance.

 

 

example:

 

GG says:

"yeah so my friend Maria, great girl, called me yesterday because she brok eup with her bf. I stood uo with her till 4am trying to make her feel better. I don' know why some guys are so ......... i could never do that to someone. I'm goingt o give her a call when i get home to make sure she is ok"

 

GIRLl THINKS:

OMG he is so sweet, wow .... i wish i had a FRIEND like that. None of my guy friends would stay up so late with me to discuss my love life. Wow he is really a GOOD GUY. What if i date him and it doesn't work out? what if it's my fault ... i would be out of a great potential friend and out of a bf.... i can't hurt him (a gg).. i wouldn't be able to forgive myself...if it doesnt work out how do i break it off?...i betternot start anything...too bad he is cute too. ..... OH he is going to call her to check up on her... wow ..i need a friend like that ...so understanding... since he is guy, maybe he can give me advice on how to deal with men... it would be good to have him on my corner.... I think i'm gonna keep him as a FRIEND. Yup thats what i'll do.

 

So now that i have animated what might be teh thought process of a grl ... coming from a grl perspective... see what u can do to change that and trust me... becominga jerk ..will not help ur cause.... because u might have more relationship but none will last very long.

 

Also u have to know that once a grl sees a potential great friend it's hard to see u as a potential bf... only once we are sure the gains of going-out out weight the risk of hurting u and guilt that will follow if it happens wil we attempt to give u a chance. By that time we are very into u.

 

its sounds weird i know and i'm sure there is more to it but this is a major reason my gf's and I have come up with to explain this phenomenon

 

 

Good luck ... keep looking and u shall find....

good things are worth waiting for.....

[Shyguy24]

thanks misscitygrl for ur reply

 

So I guess what u mean by this is that I should develop a little bit of a mean streak ..even only as a act just to make sure that the girl can think hey he aint that nice so it wont be that awful went out with him and then kicked his sorry ass.

 

Hmm so what I have to do is basically care less and reject the person once in a while (not being myself) and this will attract girls !!

 

SWhat if I go out with a girl with this act and then later on she finds out that I am this wonderful guy …wont she feel bad then about going out with me and the fact that she could hurt me

 

So let me get this straight Girls want a nice guy but also want there butts kicked and being to nice like me is not boyfriend material because I could be a great friend .

 

So could u suggest some things I could do too show I am not this nice a person but I don't want to be a beep …

 

cause see I have this thought process that for me my girl is going to mean a lot and I am never going to do to her what my other friends have done to there girlfriends ..i know I am just looking to get my butt kicked ..but I cant help it it's a attitude I have developed AFTER HAVING TO COMFORT MY FRIENDS WHO ARE GIRLS …UGHHH I THINK I MIGHT BE TURNING INTO ONE

 

I NEED SERIOUS SUGGESTIONS ON SOME THINGS I CAN DO TO SHOW THAT I AM A REGULAR BAD ASS..SO THAT I CAN GET A GIRLFRIEND

 

thanks

all

[misscitygrl]

Don't be a bad asss... that won't get u anywhere... just don't highlight ur gg qualities...she will figure it out herself.. and grls do like gg but u guys can be a little intimidating, we don't want to be the bad guy if things don't work out... we are not used to that role... know what i mean?

 

I know it all sounds ridiculous...i'm the 1st to admit it...

(it's like when pretty grls complain that no one asks them out... it sounds absurd but some men find them initimating)

 

This is not to say that there aren't grls who wouldn't go absolutely crazy with ur qualities... and to be honest i think ur best bet is to be patient, that special person is bound to come along sooner or later.....

 

Stay positive

[Chan209]

See maybe thats the prob... guys come and go but a friend is 4ever... and girls might be taking that to seriously...out of hand

 

I think most of it is that 99.99% of women have no idea what they want.

 

it is like we are afraid to hurt a good guy .....cause how can u hurt a good guy ... that would go aganist very single one of our principles... since we know a good guy is hard to find. So we rather not go there and be responsible for hurting u if things don't work out. It's just too much pressure to date u ...

 

Saying you'd hurt a good guy....were you planning on hurting one on purpose?? Saying that you're afraid of hurting a good guy shows just how bad some women must be at being girlfriends/significant others. Girls think they aren't hurting a guy by staying friends with him when in fact you are hurting him when you reject him.

 

i suggest being a good guy in disguise. I know being a good guy (gg from now on) is a great thing but maybe u should keep that to urself; on the down low. Don't tell no one...

 

just meet a girl and be urself

 

Those 2 statements completely contradict themselves. Why should he have to go out and put on a facade of who he isn't just to please a woman?? Wouldn't she find out sooner or later he really is a good guy??

 

but don't tell them stories where ur gg persona might be apparent.... how u treat her will be more than enough to let them know that ur a guy worth getting to know.

 

So don't be a good guy towards her?? No wonder women are attracted to guys who treat them like crap.

 

Be a regular guy...remember we dont want a superman, do no wrong man... we, like u, want a REGULAR person... of course with gg qualities... try to find a balance.

 

I think he should just be himself because if she really likes him, she'll like him and accept him for who he really is - not who he isn't.

 

GIRLl THINKS:

OMG he is so sweet, wow .... i wish i had a FRIEND like that. None of my guy friends would stay up so late with me to discuss my love life. Wow he is really a GOOD GUY. What if i date him and it doesn't work out? what if it's my fault ... i would be out of a great potential friend and out of a bf.... i can't hurt him (a gg).. i wouldn't be able to forgive myself...if it doesnt work out how do i break it off?...i betternot start anything...too bad he is cute too. ..... OH he is going to call her to check up on her... wow ..i need a friend like that ...so understanding... since he is guy, maybe he can give me advice on how to deal with men... it would be good to have him on my corner.... I think i'm gonna keep him as a FRIEND. Yup thats what i'll do.

 

So now that i have animated what might be teh thought process of a grl ... coming from a grl perspective... see what u can do to change that and trust me... becominga jerk ..will not help ur cause.... because u might have more relationship but none will last very long.

 

Also u have to know that once a grl sees a potential great friend it's hard to see u as a potential bf... only once we are sure the gains of going-out out weight the risk of hurting u and guilt that will follow if it happens wil we attempt to give u a chance. By that time we are very into u

 

Ok, now this is what most of us guys don't understand. You girls find a guy with all these great qualities that EVERY woman says they want in a guy ("I just want a nice guy." "I just want a guy who will treat me right.", etc..etc..) and then you push him to the side as a 'friend' in leiu of someone who treats you like crap and disrespects you. Common sense would say that if you find someone really great for you (you know, that "good guy") to not let him go (ask him out). Women complain all the time "I can never find a good guy/nice guy/someone who treats me right" when in fact he's been there all along...but you've labeled him as a 'friend'.

 

I'm sorry this whole post sounds harsh but I'm one of those "good guys" who have had my fair share "you're such a great guy", blah, blah, blah....and it's something I'm still trying to comprehend how the female species mind seems to work when it comes to selecting guys.

 

The world may never know....

[Shyguy24]

Well said MATE I DONT UNDERSTAND WOMEN !!!

 

i ADMIRE THE FACT THAT I AINT ALONE

 

I AM A GREAT GUY AND I FEEL SORRY FOR ALL THE STUPID CREATURES THAT WE CALL WOMEN .. .AND TO THINK I WAS THINKING OF DEDICATING MY LIFE TOWARDS THAT SPECIAL WOMEN !!

 

THEY ARE FROM VENUS MATE AND WE ARE FROM MARS

 

SORRY GIRLS , BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND YOU