"I love you....but it doesn't change anything"
are the infamous lines uttered by my ex boyfriend just the last weekend. Let me give you a quick background on what brought me to this point.
I am a 22 year old girl from Canada who is working in Germany since June
2003. I met my ex (let's call him Raoul) in October and he was after me like there was no tomorrow. He was also doing an internship in Germany, he was from Denmark and is 23. We began dating in October, and things were amazing. We both decided to end things when he left to go back to denmark in Jan (well, more his decision than mine). The way he described it to me was that he wasn't ready to try a long-distance relationship, wasn't ready to change his life for me. I had my issues with it, but I respect him and respected the decision. I still love him a lot and we kept in contact, he even sent me a v-day card and a letter explaining how he still wants to keep in close contact with me, and that "if we ever find ourselves in the same place again, then perhaps we will try again".
So, anyways, we kept in contact and even planned a holiday break in april together at an island resort (smart, huh?) and I planned to go to Denmark to see the royal wedding in may and see him, as well as another trip to denmark with a girlfriend which occurred last week.
I was really apprehensive about seeing him again. Do I hug him? Kiss him? Well, all apprehensions were laid to rest when he hugged me and didn't let go for the longest time. He was flirty and tried to monopolise my attention (which he did). We did sleep together, and I asked him what we were, he couldn't say, but we weren't f**k buddies. I told him I loved him and that I didn't want him to respond in any way, I just wanted to get my feelings for him off my chest. He then says to me..."I don't want to hurt you" and then moments later "you may not want to hear this, but....... I love you....but it doesn't change anything". I tried explaining what I wanted from a relationship to him, and he pretty much was like "that's what we've been doing for the past 5 months" - and we both realised that we had never stopped dating since he left.
And then he tells me before I left that the weekend in Denmark made it clear that we were in 2 different places in our lives. Which we are not, I mean, I don't plan on marrying the guy (WAY too early to tell) - but I want a relationship with him and if things progress naturally and we are together then so be it. If things are not, then that's okay too.
So my question is, should I try to get him back? What the hell do I do in Mallorca? Should I not contact him? What the hell does he want from me?
