input

I called my ex ex. Because I realized she was the only one who ever listened, but when we were together I was just like my recent ex. Didn't want to communicate, didn't apriciate what i had....and so on. We talked for hours (with my ex ex). She was very nice and she calmed me down. Told me what I was so I could find myself again. Something my recent ex didn't know how. She's just not mature enough yet or never really loved me. I guess. I wasn't mature enough eather when I was her age. So I'm not really angry with her. I gave my 100% and it is time to stop blaming myself. Its not just my fault. I gave her all the love she needed and all the support all the patience ... but no return. I've learned a lot from this. I hope she will 2 one day. I know that one day she will call me and give me the same speach I gave 2 my ex ex. (or she will give it to someone else - i hope it will be me, 'couse I love her and will be there for her for the rest of my life even though as just a friend)Then I'll be happy to know that mi diosa has learned her lesson like me. Then she might understand me... anyway I'm moving on. I need someone who knows how to listen and care about me...

UPDATE... I blew it. I sent her TXT sayin i need some time alone to get over her and when i got her reply I tried to make her understand that now it would be great if we got together. I got carried away and then got really pathetic. She replied LISTEN TO YOURSELF. YOU THINK YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WITH THAT KIND OF A PROBLEM..bla bla bla then i said SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE. I LOVE YOU, STAY COOL. I really don't need this kind of pain in my life anymore. I'll erase all of her email and everything about her...To hell with her. If she isn't there to listen, she isn't worth any of my time...

Things are getting better...I called my ex and we talked for a while...nothing special just your everyday conversation...how are you...oh your grandma is coming..bla bla bla...it was nice to talk to her...anyway at the end she said she will email me about some problems she has with her computer...and then few minutes later she CALLED and asked me those things...I think she is just accepting me as a friend and there is nothing more...but it still feels strange. I've never been friends with an ex before. I don't know if I will be up for this. I'm in love with her too much.

My girlfriend broke up with me becouse she said she is on a different path now and its not just me...BUT...i know why she is thinking like that...when you don't get along with a person, you start to think you need a change...simple as that...i had some personal problems when we were together and because of that i was acting very anoying and i was pushing our relationship too hard forward...i told her that i have dealed with my problem and i'm ok now...but somehow she won't beleve me when i say that our relationship would be much greater than it was now...then i told her that we must forget my past and that we must start from the beginning if we want to stay friends...she accepted it.

Thnx