sprocky25

oh and I forgot to mention that one time when I went to his shop, I was looking through his desk and under some of his car magazines was a stip club review magazine. It was almost like he was trying to hide it. I think all of this is wearing on my self esteem and I am considering going to therapy. As a teenager a counselor found me to be a co-dependant so I had to work really hard on my self esteem. Now that all this is happening I feel that all that work went to waste. I constantly have thoughts of I don't look good enough, or my chest isn't big enough. I used to be very independent and he didn't like that. So I dropped my guard. But now all I want is to find that independance again. I'm so tired of being angry and insecure.

Hey thanks everyone! I really needed to vent all that out before I could actually talk to him cause I probably would've exploded. Thanks for all your ideas and thoughts.

Ok So I'm new here and I really need someone to talk to. My husband and I have been married for 3 months and have been together for 2 years. I have had these feelings for sometime now and everyone I try to talk to tells me that I'm overreacting. My husband has posters of half naked to naked women in the garage posted all around. This isn't really the problem but it stems here. These posters didn't bother me at first but not I get really uncomfortable whenever I am in the garage. Now a year ago he went in partners with a guy to start a racing business. The shop started out nice and classy but now I feel it's moved more toward trashy. There are posters of these women and magazine pages/cutouts everywhere! He's even gone to the stores to buy more. I find it to be extremely uncomfortable when I'm there. But he always wants me to visit him. So I make the occasional visit to keep him happy despite my feelings. Now he wants to get a computer at home. I am a little apprehesive about this because I know that he will use it to look up erotic websites. This bothers me! He has a computer at work and I sometimes use it but I hate because his screensaver is a slideshow of various women in various positions and clothing (or lack there of) with cars or motorcycles. We'll even go to his best friends house and he'll start looking things up on his computer. Is there a problem with me or my thinking? Help! It really hurts me because there have been times in the past where he's told me that when he describes me he wouldn't say that I'm beautiful, he would say that I'm cute. Also that I dont' dress revealing enough. Or he'll make suggestions like "why don't you do this?" When we first got together he used to come home and tell me "so and so says that his wife pleasures him everyday". These are just hurtful things. I have come home to find that he's gotten home before me and has just finished watching a pornographic film and/or masturbated. I'm told him, not too long ago, that we should use the movies together and not alone. He agreed since then. It also hurts me when I wear the type of lingerie I like, and he says (in not so many words) that it doesn't look stripperish enough. Or he'll be looking through playboy and say something like "If you ever got a bood job I'd want them to look like this!" So now I find myself changing my thinking on different subjects but I can't decide is this cause I like them or is it because I know that he like them? Advice please!!!!