justbrad

The first thing that I noticed is that you seem very tired. I rememeber when I was feeling overwhelmed by the loss of my family of 24 years. Some days it was all I could do to just get out of bed in the morning. I don't think that you would have the opportunity to just stopp trying, because they all depend on you so much. But that's what I did sometimes, and it got hard to get back up again after I did. I'm really only patially recovered now. The point is this. Post traumatic stress syndrome is contagious in a way. People who have been attacked by others become defensive and attack us. Dealing with powerful waves of emotion in others takes a lot out of us. We get to feeling worn out and overwhelmed by the daily dose of stress ourselves. Caretakers especially are vulnerable because of the inability to cope by giving up and just not caring anymore. As one who has taken care of others all his life (including 7 years in nursing), I urge you to take care of yourself in order that you will have something to give others. So many who I have seem are worn down by the struggles of life because these struggles become thier entire life. In otherwords, they have no life outside of the daily pain of life. You must build a space in your life which is for you and which nurishes you and makes you stronger. When I went through the divorce, I spent more hours than you could imagine going over recovery websites and participating in discussion boards. The knowledge I gained helped me to deal more effectively. But the time spent in such activities gave me strength in other ways too. For one, it creates perspective. It allows us to see how our problems are like others and that some have it even worse. And then we can see that there are skillful, as well as unskillful ways of coping. Finally, by trying to help others, I found that conquering the suffering of others empowers us to overcome our own, and instills compassion in us and perhaps some gift of grace as well. So take care of yourself. Take a long bath, talk to a friend (about any other subject). Get out and shop or go do something just for you.